September 11, 2007

Prescient Eighties Anthems for P.A.T.R.I.O.T. Day 2007

Was the state of our miserable country foreseen by the early pioneers of music video? Forget all of the professional protest artists, the more photogenic half of Hall and Oates had all the Nostradamic answers for the state of our country back in 1985, assuming you've had the equivalent of three trayfuls of pot brownies. No, really, listen to / read the lyrics! Could he have been talking about Reagan? Predicting the re-emergence of the movie-star eyes of Fred Thompson? Ever notice how "wake up" and "shake up" rhyme? Think about it, sheeple!

Or was I thinking about Huey Lewis? Wait a minute, wrong video... the last link contains the award-winning acting of the future Mrs. Pierce Brosnan! Perhaps Johnny Cougar, before he became a complete cheesedick sellout (I heard another lyrical version of This Is Our Country, Wetback! and it gave me explosive diarrhea). I fight the urge to punch the television during jingoistic Chevy commercials, and the urge to punch the television during jingoistic Chevy commercials always wins.

Sorry I'm a bit disorganized here, but I think that Roxanne may have had a standing request for some vintage Butt Rock that is completely, thematically unrelated to the point I was originally trying to make in this post. But which of Europe's twin masterpieces was she clamoring: Carrie or Cherokee? No time to check the comments on the previous post; I'll just post them both:

"Today I settled all family business... so don't tell me you're innocent, Carlo." Feel free to dick around in the comments rather than have your day commemorated for you. It's open swim!

UPDATE: If it's politics you must discuss, then how about deciding on a sixth birthday present for America 2.0? A new bike from Montgomery Ward? Velcro baseball gloves? An Atari 2600? No? How about some unfiltered, Soviet-style propaganda? Every juvenile ex-constitutional republic loves that!

UPDATE II: More things to detract from the invective that's no doubt being hurled on sites people actually read and care about...

Here's a way for you to test whether that shifty-looking person in your office is a cyborg: tell them to watch the above two videos, then retreat to a safe distance of 1000 yards. If, afterwards, their eyes and ears are not bleeding, they are in fact a mechano-person. P.S. The second video, as a part of my masterplan, has disabled the worldwide gaydar satellite array. Let ambiguity reign!




Posted by Norbizness at September 11, 2007 12:06 AM
Comments

I thought you were kidding with the Patriot Day shtick. The upside is if I listen to the news tomorrow I'll probably get to hear some affected politician pronouncing 'patriot' as 'patriOT.' Why I find that so entertaining, I cannot say.

Posted by: kcb at September 10, 2007 09:52 PM

In all honesty, I didn't know what Butt Rock was until I played the displayed tubelets. Fucking oy.

Posted by: Roxanne at September 10, 2007 11:57 PM

I had to google "This Is Our Country" and then I threw up in my mouth a little. Jeez. Even commenters on YouTube are aware enough to know the song was a pathetic attempt to cash in on tragedy. Mellencamp is the Lee Greenwood of our time. Hope he's happy.

I used to have Daryl Hall's hair. Well, not literally, but you know. That hair.

Posted by: Stacia at September 11, 2007 03:01 AM

new anthems by Slade, AC/DC and Alice.

Posted by: paperpusher at September 11, 2007 09:24 AM

I don't know what it is, but George Michaels' teeth really bother me.

Posted by: Nancy in Detroit at September 11, 2007 01:39 PM

forgot the obligatory 80's anthem. I'm pretty sure Shrub gets up every morning humming this one.

Posted by: paperpusher at September 11, 2007 01:44 PM

i'd like to treat america vista edition, and all her p.a.t.r.i.o.t.s to a liter of cherry coke, a big bowl of ghostbusters' cereal, and a double shot of cinema magic: the 1987 classic 'disorderlies,' featuring the fat boys, and the 1986 thriller-chiller, 'monster squad.' wolfman! nards! bin/hussein/sadr/iran-guy! we will never forget and must always fetishize!

Posted by: dex at September 11, 2007 03:38 PM

OK, so "butt rock" means smells like ass music? (I couldn't listen to more than a few seconds of either one.)

Anyways, MTV played a lot of crappy music videos in the 1980s, but at least they actually played music videos.
~

Posted by: ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© at September 11, 2007 07:04 PM

I'm not a fan of "This Is Our Country." But his *intent* was pretty clearly to evoke "This Land Was Made For You and Me," not "This Land Is Our Land" by Bob Roberts.

Posted by: FlipYrWhig at September 12, 2007 12:07 AM

I demand you show us your vinyl copy of "3 Hearts and a Happy Ending Machine" extra points for color vinyl!

Posted by: Pinko Punko at September 12, 2007 02:37 AM

Wait, the first video of Update II is awesome. I'm spontaneously doing the robot in bed.

Posted by: Pinko Punko at September 12, 2007 02:40 AM

And how could you miss this???

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mDNFGeTrDxw

Posted by: Pinko Punko at September 12, 2007 02:43 AM