September 03, 2007
Labor Day Special: Shit Rock, Category The Second
Some bands and artists become shitty over time, some are hatched shitty. These are the hatchlings:
Lady in Black by Uriah Heep: You've got to love those bands that plow ahead, oblivious to any intervening musical developments. What's sad is that this is probably the most listenable song in their catalog.
Still the Same by Bob Seger: Well, it might not be fair to say that this creature was always shitty, as evidenced by the late 60s performance of Ramblin' Gamblin' Man captured here. However, the title of this song describes most of his output of the last thirty years: still the same pseudo-deep power ballad that resonates with God knows who.
Free for All by Ted Nugent (here with the Damn Yankees): His completely repellent views on everything aside, this is actually one of my favorite mindless songs of the 70s (original vocals were by Meat Loaf). However, most of his output is for the sweetly brain damaged younger brothers of Bob Seger fans.
Roll With the Changes by REO Speedwagon (live in some medium-sized arena with Styx): Two shitty birds with one crappy stone.
Where Are You Now? by Nazareth: If you didn't know better, you'd put this in Wuss Rock. But also consider that this the band responsible for cowbell-heavy Hair of the Dog ("Now you're messin' with a son of a bitch!") Or don't consider it. No big deal.
Rock Me Tonite by Billy Squier: Like a bad Robert Plant David Coverdale impersonator singing over the top of a pre-programmed song from a Casio keyboard (that's malfunctioning).
A decidedly Midwestern feel. I know that there are plenty more candidates from the mindleess AOR genre; their albums fill the 99 cent bins at countless record stores and flea markets. As everybody has plenty of time this Labor Day, I want to see tons of confessions in the comments. Guilty pleasures will not be spared. A second round will most assuredly be forthcoming.
UPDATE: How could I have forgotten Toto? WITH MICHAEL MCDONALD?!?
That's the goods!
Ah the memories, painful ones. And to think a lot of this stuff was sucked up gladly since it came out during disco's heyday.
First, where are the *good* David Coverdale impersonators? And why would anyone bother?
Okay, back to the memories. Fall 1979, I'm shrooming in the dorm and head over to a buddy's room. He's a big Nugent fan and has some album playing. I'm thinking to myself "gee, this sounds a lot better than any other Nugent shit I've heard". A week later when the drugs wore off, I heard the same album and yup, you guessed it, it blew.
Flash forward a year or so, summer 1981, I'm at home working at Pizza Slut for a summer job. We had a radio piped in for the whole place but had a juke box that would override the radio whenever some nitwit would drop a buck in to play something. The good news is that there was no C&W on it. More good news is that this was before rap and hip hop so none of that. The bad news is that Billy Squier's "The Stroke" was on there and it got played A HUNDRED BILLION FUCKING TIMES A NITE!!!!!!!! Three full months of hearing that goddamned song again and again and again, it almost make one long for Bob Seger.
Before "classic rock" played his same 3 songs A HUNDRED BILLION FUCKING TIMES A DAY!!!!!!!!
Anyway, now, I can't hear anything by either musician without facial tics and twitching which eventually winds up with me curling up into a fetal position and moaning senselessly.
But I'm not bitter.
Posted by: scott at September 3, 2007 11:22 AMOkay, one of my favorite Simpsons moments: Odysseus/Homer making his trip through the underworld, with Styx on the soundtrack. "This is truly Hell!"
Posted by: Cass at September 3, 2007 03:30 PMA decidedly Midwestern feel
Well, for one thing, Mr. Austin Smarty-Pants, you've left out Southern Rock, which to this observer means the late great Duane Allman, followed closely by a dump truck over-full of pigshit. I'm pretty sure the Midwest invented shit rock, in the personages of Grand Funk Railroad, and perhaps even perfected it, but it might be noted that no one shows up at a Styx concert wearing a shirt made out of the Illinois state flag, whooping for songs celebrating the heroic cops of Haymarket Square.
Posted by: doghouse riley at September 3, 2007 11:44 PMI'll have you know by the threads of my long-gone Levis bell bottoms that in junior high school I rocked out faithfully to the Styx and Bob Seger (before he hit the pop thing) and REO Speedwagon, which were all big hits in the auditoriums in St. Louis to which all the big grown up high schoolers went. My best friend also gave me a copy of Ted Nugent's "Cat Scratch Fever" which caused me to conclude that he was indeed the ugliest, nastiest rock-whore alive, barring the fact that I kinda liked the chords and heavy bass on "Free For All".
I'll also confess that I secretly listened to the all-disco FM station on my radio at night, which only lasted a few months on the air. Yes, I was getting tired of flannel shirts, feathered hair and saying "Hey man..." in nearly every sentence.
Then sometime around '79 I started to attend a big city high school in St. Louis and discovered punk rock and true rebellion, cast off my feathered roach clip, bell bottoms and big flashy KISS belt buckle and joined a new herd.
Posted by: kate at September 4, 2007 12:00 AMOh and my lawds! What is that big "DISCO" sign hanging over Uriah Heep? And is that really an audience of totally bored twelve year olds? Tell me it ain't so, please tell me!
Posted by: kate at September 4, 2007 12:03 AMHey. I like REO Speedwagon, and I won't apologize for it! The combination of REO Speedwagon and Styx, though, strikes fear in my heart.
I first saw that Billy Squier video a couple years ago and was surprised to discover he's gay, but once I realized it, it explained a lot.
"Still the Same" is a guilty pleasure of mine. I swear it was used in a soundtrack to a 1980s movie, but I'll be damned if I know what it was.
Posted by: Stacia at September 4, 2007 01:06 AMY&T - Bill Graham, wtf
Rick Astley - this is hard to resist, isn't it?
.38 Special - for doghouse riley
Bob Seger the first concert I ever went to (Live Bullet tour, I think). Lordy, my high school graduating class', um, theme song (or whatever it's called) was Turn the Page. At the time, I thought it profound.
The New Year's Eve Ted Nugent concerts were a big deal back in the day. I don't recall him being quite as insane back then.
Kudos on the REO Speedwagon/Styx twofer. I absolutely hated REO (sorry, Stacia). And Billy Squier doing that odd little Billy Squier dance - you're killing me here!
Doghouse Riley: That was beautiful.
Posted by: Nancy in Detroit at September 4, 2007 10:39 AMIsn't it time to stand together with our brother Billy Squier?
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=billy+squier+fireplace+bono
Posted by: Tom at September 5, 2007 10:38 AM