August 30, 2007
And Some Thrust Shittiness Upon Themselves After De-Toxing
Just to remind everyone... Shit Rock (Category One): "This will usually refer to bands who had a good late 60s/early 70s run, only to be phased into obsolescence by the advent of disco, punk, and later metal. Usually characterized by the now coked-up, debt-ridden bands trying to appropriate new musical styles (i.e. finding a synthesizer) from the time period 1976-1986, mostly with disastrous results."
Touch and Go by Emerson, Lake and Powell: Look, I like this song (against my better judgment)... but it really has none of the kinetic energy or pretentious ambition of the early albums. I think there's an equation about the number of keyboards being inversely proportional to the quality of the music, isn't there?
Gemini Dream by The Moody Blues: You see what I'm going for now? For some reason, this recalls the phrasing of ZZ Top's Sharp Dressed Man, and all I hear are synths, despite the fact that most everyone seems to have a form of stringed instruments. 100 doses of the stuff that gets caught in my spam filter couldn't cure this flaccidity.
Jane by Jefferson Starship: It would be easier to pick on their 80s abominations, but the long track record of Starship's sucking began in the mid-70s. Did they always have a castrato soundalike for Grace Slick waiting in the wings? All the punch of Toto!
When the Heart Rules the Mind by GTR: Indispensable to the discussion of Shit Rock I is the early 80s supergroup... Asia is the easiest target, but we shouldn't forget about Steve Howe's second collaboration with somebody from times past; in this case original Genesis member Steve Hackett. Just soak in the crapitude. A young Dave Coulier on vocals, and some dude's wearing a medal.
Winning by Santana: I'm not sure, but I think the guy from the Spin Doctors is immortal and singing with Carlos! Apart from that, this ditty is completely stripped of any sort of Latin flavor, infused with a tired, by-the-numbers guitar solo, and festooned with inspirational lyrics found in a 99-cent self-help book. Fleh.
Emotional Rescue by The Rolling Stones: A late addition to the Shit Rock gallery of used-to-be stars, but there's no denying that they had the farthest to fall... and indeed did with this discofied excrement. At least Harlem Shuffle had some interesting animation courtesy of John Kricfalusi.
Now, I'm not saying that the bands shown here as originally constituted were necessarily any picnic (your mileage may vary), but the bland homogenization and attempts to keep up with the MTV Joneses are the hallmarks of this very specific category. For bands and artists from this era that were born shitty, stay tuned for the next installment: Shit Rock (Category 2). But in the interim, let's hear your own suggestions. If there are enough that appear to be on target, we might try a second round.
I nominate Rod Stewart. It's a very long way down from his cover of "I'm Losing You" to "Da Ya Think I'm Sexy."
Posted by: kmb at August 29, 2007 08:36 PMThe Moody Blues did occasional excellent work in the 80s, exemplified by "The Voice" and "Your Wildest Dreams". And by excellent, I mean relative to the rubbish that dominated the airwaves at that time, so it would be more accurate to say "adequate" rather than "excellent".
Posted by: Me at August 29, 2007 10:47 PMI shoulda known you'd trash Gemini Dreams. Long Distance Voyager was one of the best Moody Blues albums ever.
Oh lord "Jane". Fuck, another hook that's now firmly planted in my brain for the rest of the day. As if repeated poundings in the 80s (when the song was played oh, what. 313.56 times a day?) wasn't enough.
Posted by: scott at August 30, 2007 08:19 AMOh, what about Elton? I brought this up last week but I think he falls into this category. Or is his post 70s work being saved for another category?
Posted by: scott at August 30, 2007 08:20 AMthe GTR video is particularly heinous. I don't ever recall Howe or Hackett doing the faux "rocking" motions before.
I had Elton in mind, too, when you first proposed this category, but we don't need to go there. my own faves who outlived their talent were Fleetwood Mac, Phil Collins post-Genesis realignment, and Chicago.
I gotta add the Tubes, Tin Machine and (was it kitsch or kool?) Earth Wind and Fire.
Posted by: paperpusher at August 30, 2007 10:26 AMFleetwood Mac?
Posted by: ?? at August 30, 2007 10:31 AMSince I mentioned Elton, Rod Stewart also belongs in some shit pot somewhere.
Great call on Chicago, a blinding flash of the obvious as it were.
I still like Phil Collins' first solo album but everything thereafter? Ugh. Again, don't know if he belongs in here or we're saving him for wtf we put Elton and Rod.
And *anything* with any of the rotating Yes alumni tends to peg the craptacular meter. My fellow band mates, who are all big Asia fans, will shoot me for saying that.
Posted by: scott at August 30, 2007 10:44 AMsorry ??, speaking as a fan who stayed with them thru the lean Bob Welch years, after "Mirage" it's a case of why did they bother? The Joan Cusack/Stevie scene from "School of Rock" kind of says it all.
Posted by: paperpusher at August 30, 2007 11:26 AMPP:
I gather you're a FM fan from the Peter Green era? Trying to compare the band's various permutations over the decades is really an apples and oranges exercise.
If I recall correctly, Mick said in his autobiography that the main reason FM did anything in the 80s boiled down to him begging and pleading with everybody to get back in the studio and then tour because he needed the money. And it showed.
Rumours still doesn't get old to me despite the fact radio (over)play has killed the album. The DVD-A version is to die for.
Rumours - 1977 (s/t II)
tusk - 1979 (the white album)
Live - 1980 (redundant)
Mirage - 1982 (nice and sunny)
1983 on - teh suck regardless of permutation
Christ on a Cracker I saw nearly every one of those people live in their early guises, although in my defense Yes and Emerson, Lake, and Palmer were opening acts. Indeed, I shelled out half-a-lid money on Jefferson Airplane. How Jorma Kaukonen and the world's greatest rock bassist wound up working for a sci-fi nerd with a God complex and his ol' lady, David Crosby Without the Musicianship, is a question for the ages.
There was a great Steve Earle interview, probably twenty years ago now, possibly on the fledgling Nashville Network, in which he talked about how when he first got to town the biggest names in the biz would be sitting around on the floor somewhere, passing around a joint and a guitar, and hwo that immediately changed when cocaine divided people into haves and have-nots.
PP:
I liked their older stuff - Bare Trees, etc.,- but od'd on Rumours and never went back.
Posted by: ?? at August 30, 2007 03:14 PMAssuming one dug The Dead circa "American Beauty" - "Franklin's Tower," nothing was quite the same after they put out "Shakedown Street."
"Touch of Grey" sucks mightily, too. Though I doubt Garcia ever detoxed, even now.
Posted by: bdr at August 30, 2007 03:29 PMGod damn, but I had forgotten all about that GTR song.
Thanks for nothing, asshole.
Posted by: Fishbone McGonigle at August 30, 2007 04:49 PMAlso, Steve Hacket is the dude wearing the medal. Go figure.
Posted by: Fishbone McGonigle at August 30, 2007 04:52 PMProbably the originators of this category would have to be The Beach Boys, whose seminal contributions to the body of rock were tarnished by issuing "Kokamo", a song so devoid of life that it is often used by surgeons to sterilize their equipment.
Isn't that just Grace Slick after she's grown a mustache?
And I'd say way closer to JourneyForeigner than Toto, right?
Posted by: Fats Durston at August 31, 2007 01:12 PMAw, shit, I just downloaded that GTR song the other day.
At least I didn't pay for it...
Posted by: Jas at August 31, 2007 10:03 PM