Happy Furry Puppy Story Time with Norbizness

Now The Left's in The Plumbing Business! What Gives?

The Left's great-great-grandfather, on Qur'an patrol in 1884 (#5).

Are we all Cheneyed out? Are we all Lefted out? Is everybody who reads, holds their nose because of, and then comments on my tripe currently en route to YearlyKos? If that's the case, then I suggest that everybody pull a Snake and rob your nearest local A- to D-list lefty blogger! Take the four-foot bongs, the poster of Albert Einstein sticking his tongue out, the Li'l Bastard America-Hating Mischief kits, and the coffee-table book about improving one's perceived brilliance with coffee-table books!

1. The Left has already successfully branded Fox News as GOP TV. What will the man on the street think of the Wall Street Journal, America's best newspaper, in six months? That it's a sad little black and white pixellated refuge for loonies like John Fund, Daniel Henninger, and Peggy "Magic Jesus Dolphin" Noonan? WRONG! I think that now! Allow me to go to the nearest street to confirm!

2. Winning back America ONE word at a time: The Left has being doing this for decades. Let's see if we can do the same. Do not use liberal or progressive when socialist, communist, Lenninist, Stalinist, Marxist will do. There is no Democratic party only Democrat, in any shape way or form. There may be a gay Homosexual, but you are a homosexual first. Oh Lord, I'm scraping the bottom of a barrel on the opposite side of the planet with this one. But if you click through to read the second comment in the forum, it will all become worth it.

3. There’s been a lot of talk in today’s blogosphere about the way in The Left has responded to Chief Justice Roberts’ seizure, with the perfect example showing up at Wonkette’s website: "Chief Justice John Roberts has died in his summer home in Maine. No, not really, but we know you have your fingers crossed." That is slander of the most vile variety. I myself was unable to finish a second helping of pancakes after hearing about his seizure and fall. I also said "Oh my God. Five cents off wax paper" while pointing to a coupon.

4. This is an inconvenient truth for the Church of CO2 Emissions. We can’t enact an international treaty to control the sun’s magnetic activity. We can’t legislate against it. Nor can it be used as a club to beat energy companies bloody or to institute the type of draconian controls over humanity for which The Left has always lusted. I myself have called for people to stop emitting carbon dioxide by beating them savagely about the head and neck until they stop breathing. No wait, that's for failure to USE A GODDAMNED TURN SIGNAL ON THE FUCKING FREEWAY. We'll deal with you later, Mr. Sun. How I've yearned to destroy you since the beginning of time (see comment #2 for an early appearance of The Left).

5. Now, The Left has been arguing for years that "speech" includes the right to burn the American flag, but now flushing the Qu'ran gets you arrested. It's exactly what we feared-- special rights for minorities due to hate crimes legislation. Where are we headed with this flawed logic? Unobstructed public toilets and drier Qur'ans?

6. Is YearlyKos a sign that The Left has elbowed centrist Dems aside? I ain't elbowin' shit, motherfucker! I WASN'T EVEN INVITED!

Other tiresome chronicling of my misdeeds can be found here. So much vitriol for one little guy! Try your own pithy responses to these damning indictments!

Posted by Norbizness at August 2, 2007 12:19 AM