June 06, 2007
Stepping Back From the Brink of Caption Insanity
I will not suffer your insubordination! There has been a shocking decline in the quality and quantity of your toadying and re-captioning, people! And you will fall into line, now! Click on the thumbnails for a bigger, context-revealing picture, re-caption as many as you'd like, and tell me your favorites of mine or others in the comments. I'll go for #10, closely followed by #2.
1. 
"Conjugal visits? Mmmm... not that I know of. Y'know, minimum security prison is no picnic. I have a client in there right now. He says the trick is: kick someone's ass the first day, or become someone's bitch. Then everything will be all right. Why do you ask, anyway?"*
2. 
We need backup, NOW! A Volkswagen Beetle pulled up, and suddenly there's hundreds of these things, EVERYWHERE!
3. 
Alright, then, any questions? (hands shoot up) Any questions that are NOT about the lip plate? (all hands go down)
4. 
An exhaustive search by the Presley estate has led them to Beirut and the discovery of the first reincarnation of the Dalai Elvis.
5. 
Man, parking is just impossible during the Nude Olympics!
6. 
[Practice pasty Presidential primary picture!]
7. 
Man, desecrate one mosque and the whole city chases after you!
8. 
Yes, that's very nice, but I'll ask again: DO YOU HAVE ANY WAITERING EXPERIENCE?
9. 
From the depths of Borneo comes the discovery of a new species: The Patrick Nagel Frog.
10. 
Please tell me that other people can see you.
11. 
Unfortunately, style points are no longer added in French Open competition.
* a recycled caption (#7 in the original post) with a better and more topical picture.
#10: New frontiers in cosplay.
#5 Some of Frank Lloyd Wright's later buildings were a bit less popular.
#2 Jeez, Riley, when you said the Captain was a clown I never figured...
#7 Okay, Norbizness, I've done some captions! Now come back inside!
#3 There's a disturbing crossover between this picture and #8
#6 I can't bear it.
Posted by: billy pilgrim at June 5, 2007 09:57 PM1. "I'll never forget these moments we've had together, big fella. Please say you'll visit."
3. Many in the audience ripped out their own piercings when the champ was crowned.
4. "My son, don't listen to your mother, they are at laughing at you and your strange hair."
5. Mocking the Mooney Times was taken to a new level.
6. Lacking mustaches, voices, and the proper number, this barbershop quartet was roundly booed.
7. "Got to get away from that parking garage."
11. The French took perverse pleasure in mocking the English curtsy to the Queen.
I spit sunflower seeds everywhere after readings #3. Thanks you.
Posted by: trashdog at June 6, 2007 12:08 AM6) "Don't they all look lovely in their evening wear? Now we will select our five finalists, before we go on to the interview portion of the competition. In no particular order, they are: Miss New York! Miss Massachusetts! Miss Colorado! Miss Arkansas! and our last finalist, Miss Arizona!"
Posted by: John at June 6, 2007 06:03 AM2. Ronald McDonald just isn't the lovable character he was when I was a child.
3. When I was saying I wanted a drinks holder.. I had something else in mind.
5. He he.. bums. (sorry, just felt like saying it)
6. And modeling this summer's old boring fogey line...
11. You're supposed to hit THE BALL!
Posted by: Michelle at June 6, 2007 06:23 AM6) "Oh, we're the boys in the chorus,
We hope you like our show!
We know you're rootin' for us,
But now we have to go!"
1. To follow the path Norb. started down to its inevitable conclusion: "...we're not going to white-collar resort prison. No, no, no. We're going to federal POUND ME IN THE ASS prison."
2. "Alright, you filthy anarchist, we're taking you down--- Ooh, bubble!"
5. Pressed ham!
6. So, which one fell off and bumped his head?
7. French Spiderman is ok, but he should switch to the black costume too.
8. I'd let them spin my plates anytime, if you know what I mean. ... You don't know what I mean, do you?
10. Just like the t-shirt I had in elementary school said, "Pac Man Fanatic."
Posted by: Montag at June 6, 2007 07:39 AMOh yes, your #10 is great. But seriously - Xbox 360 Pac-Man World Champion? Seriously?
#6 - Fools on Parade
Posted by: Nancy in Detroit at June 6, 2007 09:34 AM#2 - Oh gawd, not ANOTHER new Paul McCartney album.
Posted by: bdr at June 6, 2007 09:39 AM6. See what happens when you start kicking over rocks?
Posted by: histrogeek at June 6, 2007 11:03 AMI don't have much time today, but I'd be remiss if I let this opportunity go by:
#10. "No, Mr. Jones, I don't know what you mean by 'making it rain.'"
Posted by: Otto Man at June 6, 2007 12:57 PM#7: Where people with good taste in music hang Norbizenesses sorry ass after he states "The Lion in Winter" is boring.
Posted by: scott at June 6, 2007 02:06 PM#5 - Vertical bike parking slots are introduced in Amsterdam.
Posted by: RoD at June 6, 2007 10:09 PM#6 "It's springtime/For Hitler/and Germany!"
Posted by: Clio Bluestocking at June 6, 2007 10:22 PM1. "If the chief's a git / you must acquit!"
2. Man, it's about time we started cleaning up all the clowns around here.
3. BITTER BEER FACE!
4. Finally, Sanjaya is a winner.
5. "Dude, you don't wanna work here. It's wall-to-wall assholes, all the way up to the top."
6. In GOP kickball, Ron Paul is always picked last.
7. "I mean it! Cancel those offensive GEICO commercials, or I'll jump!"
8. "No no no no. We need a deejay. That's what we mean by a platter spinner. See, the... aw, forget it."
9. Thanks to natural selection, this frog is practically invisible when found on its native habitat of cum-stained naugahyde upholstery.
10. "Sadly, owing to the epidemic of HIV in the early 80's, Inky couldn't be here with us tonight...."
11. Okay, FORGET Sharapova - THAT's hot.