May 23, 2007
Where the Deer and Durantelope Play
[Remember: plenty of pictures to caption below!]
Suck it, Ainge! Karmic payback for Mario!
Whatever happened to coin flips in the NBA Draft? If I'm not mistaken, the Rockets beat out the Clippers in two straight years (1983-1984), acquiring one tower apiece (Ralph Sampson and then-Akeem Olajuwon) for their magnificent trip to the NBA Finals in 1986, where tiny little punk Jerry Sichting pulled a Robert Horry, getting Ralph Sampson kicked out for fighting. Fuck everyone on the 1986 Celtics, except for Dennis Johnson, peace be upon him, but especially Danny Ainge, who is about as abjectly worthless a human being as exists on this planet. His bouncing the ball off Mario Elie's face while a member of the Suns confirms his war criminal status.
And was there anything to the urban legend that the 1985 draft was swung towards the Knicks (who chose eventually ring-less Patrick Ewing) through the use of a chilled envelope selected by a young Commissioner David Stern? Well, there are no cries of malfeasance this year. Statistical favorites Memphis and Boston were shut out, and New York had no artificially-weighted ping-pong ball with which to secure the services of teen phenom Greg Oden for the next 15 years.
Instead, the top two picks (Oden and Kevin Durant) will go to (1) Portland and (2) Seattle, two teams mired three hours behind all of the television markets (apart from Los Angeles) that the NBA deems important. In addition, these two teams are in the Western Conference, further cementing its dominance over a crapulent East (lovely 79-76 opening game in your conference finals, fellas). What makes it even slightly more interesting is the re-kindling of the debate about whether a dominant big man HAS to be taken first, regardless of talent level.
Portland just drafted a young big man last year in Texas' LaMarcus Aldridge; obviously he doesn't have all the potential that Greg Oden does, but they also have a gaping hole at small forward, where Kevin Durant would be a natural. Conversely, Seattle has a five-year-old Kevin Durant prototype in Rashard Lewis, but need a serious upgrade at center. Sorry, Nick Collison. One wonders what shenanigans might occur between these two Northwestern rivals.
As for the rest of the lottery, there is still a lot of talent (albeit not franchise-changing talent) to be had throughout the rest of the lottery (scroll down): North Carolina phenom Brandon Wright, Yi Jianlian, a Chinese player whom many compare to Dirk Nowitski (but quicker), Texas A&M's Acie Law IV, about as seasoned a point guard as you'll find, and Ohio State's Mike Conley, who could be the next Chris Paul or Deron Williams.
So feel free to discuss your team's bright future (and correcting my numerous factual and spelling errors) while the miserable NBA playoffs go on and on for another month with four teams that I could absolutely not care less about. Plus, if you're in Houston, tell me: is ADELMAN FEVER reaching pandemic levels yet?
huh, I don't think anybody else has come up with swapping the picks, tho someone at Yglesias' site thinks Portland takes Oden and trades Randolph to Seattle for Lewis. at least I think that's what they said. i am no cap master. obviously, the rockets had to have some reason for keeping bob sura on the payroll this year.
looks like Wisconsin's fade in the tournament is going to send Alando Tucker into the last half of the first round. Houston will either be going point guard or someone beefier than Chuck Hayes/Juwan Howard.
As for Adelman, the people who pay the tickets and the basketball royalty in Houston have been lobbying for more offense. They've always seen Van Gundy as less than imaginative in that department. Expect Yao to play a lot more high post.
Posted by: paperpusher at May 23, 2007 01:30 PMAh yes, I remember it like it was yesterday: Ralph Sampson sucker-punching a guy a foot and a half shorter than himself, Johnny Most calling him a "yellow, gutless coward" on the air, Bird retaliating by draining three pointers with the Celts up by 30 in Game Six. Still brings a tear of joy to my eyes.
And then, of course, Len Bias shoved the future of the entire franchise up his nose less than two months later. I lost interest in the Celts once Bird and McHale headed for the exits, but the 1986 NBA Finals constituted my favorite moments as a sports fan (prior to October 2004, of course.)
Why did Houston fire Van Gundy, exactly? He took a roster composed of two stars who missed a combined 45 games, assorted flotsam, and steered it into the playoffs, where they pushed a better team to a seventh game. Doesn't sound like a bad job to me. And they replaced him with Rick Adelman?
Posted by: Gerald Fnord at May 23, 2007 03:42 PMAww, the Celts are such nice kids. There's no reason they should suffer for the sins of their elders. And sometimes they play pretty good, too.
Posted by: Mark at May 24, 2007 08:26 AMWhat probably doomed Van Gundy was, in order to gain home court, he had to sell out totally to a 7-8 man rotation when he was given a roster of 5-6 new players who were never developed as a result. Management thought the new players (Snyder, Novak, Spanoulis, and Bonzi)(I'm forgetting one other guard who played sporadically) could have contributed, but essentially had the whole year wasted. The only one who panned out was Battier. That, and the lack of offense which consisted of dumping the ball to Yao or McGrady, and hoping they would either score or dish to someone who could. Any team with fouls to give and decent perimeter defense, like Utah, thwarted that.
Posted by: paperpusher at May 24, 2007 08:56 AMAinge is right up there with Lee Atwater in terms of crummy human beings.
Go Wizards! Stay healthy....please. And get a new name.
Posted by: scott at May 24, 2007 10:04 AMI will never forgive the Rockets for beating the Jazz in 5 en route to their second title. That was actually a great series and was the Jazz best chance at a title in the absence of Jordan. Jazz taking out Houston on the Stockton no-foul play the next year was it and this year don't quite make up for it, but it is a start.
Posted by: Pinko Punko at May 26, 2007 02:36 AM