March 21, 2007

Oh! You Pretty Captions

Sorry for the break in my utter predictability, but a petulant Presidential press conference sometimes has to take priority. As do parcels with the profit projections to Pete Porter in Pasadena. Click on the thumbnails for a larger, frequently necessary, context-revealing picture. Try your hand at as many snapshots as you want (no crutch-like practice picture for you!). Finally, tell me your favorites in the comments. Mine is #1 in tribute to my little brother, who was a TMNT fanatic for many of his formative years.

1. A promo for the upcoming documentary An Inconvenient Truth II: The Secret of the Ooze.

2. Another creationist tourist group is instructed on the "Scooping Hand of God" theory of canyon formation.

3. I think this marking means that he's going to be spared when the Irish start clubbing everything in sight.

4. Baronial ivory... canary... executive gray... so many résumé paper choices!

5. DO NOT take me for some mere SHEPHERD of cheap LIVESTOCK!

6. I can't stand giving Tom Cruise rides anymore! I'm makin' a break for it!

7. Say what you want, but I'll bet he has some fantastic laundry tips.

8. You don't fuck around with those Mexican unlicensed florist laws!

9. And another day's worth of hot stock picks for Your World With Neil Cavuto is cranked out.

10. I really need to stop dropping acid before going to 7-11.




Posted by Norbizness at March 21, 2007 11:33 AM
Comments

2. Tourists taking a long peer off a short Skywalk.

4. Thought bubble: "Leahy...waterboarding...yes, that would do nicely..."

5. "Why the heck do they take me hunting if they won't let me eat what I find?"

Posted by: Tom Hilton at March 21, 2007 11:00 AM

1. "So when do we get to meet Julie Strain?"

2. "Our nation's newest landfill will bring many beautiful sea gulls to the dull southwestern landscape."

3. A grimmer, grittier Banshee prepares for his Marvel Knights relaunch.

4. "Which tooth had the cyanide capsule?"

5. geek cred + talking dog = a Norb classic

6. Free Willy IV: Branson!

7. This is why Spider-Man would never work in Japan. Man gets amazing climbing powers, uses them for his fetish collection.

8. Another valuable lesson from the Robert Stack school of Hare Krishna Defense.

9. Dude, you better hurry up and evolove if you want to take over the planet and fuck with future astronauts' minds.

10. WARNING: Objects in mirror may appear comical.

Posted by: Decker at March 21, 2007 11:05 AM

#6: I'm not getting up until norbizness brings back the Mad Bomber What Bombs at Midnight to his sidebar. Is he not The Left in a nutshell?

Posted by: The Constructivist at March 21, 2007 12:01 PM

#9 = best.

Posted by: dex at March 21, 2007 12:56 PM

Very funny list this week. I loved 4, 5, and 9.

1. Despite promises of a 50% enlistment pizza bonus, the turtles declined to join the Navy SEALS.

2. Yeah, yeah, yeah, nature in all her majesty and whatever. When's somebody going to jump it?

3. Punch me, I'm Irish!

4. Want to get away?

5. [I can't even think of touching this one. Well played.]

6. Ha, ha, ha, "you're a little hoarse"? No, I've NEVER heard that one before.

7. Domo many garters, Mr. Roboto?

8. But I love you, Brit! Don't close the borders of your heart to me!

9. Just once I'd like to get a role where I don't have to spit or punch people.

10. It was hard to tell who won the annual M.C. Escher cycling race.

Posted by: Brando at March 21, 2007 02:16 PM

1. That plane in the background is totally a hoax.....MADE YOU LOOK!

2. We pause a moment to remember Evel Knievel.

3. "When children take Lucky's lucky charms...Lucky...Get....ANGRY!"

4. "All I'm saying is, the press may see repercussions for pursuing stories that damage administrations....and yes, I'm looking at YOU, Bob Woodward."

5. "Waitaminute....are you telling me that Eric Rudolph has been FOUND?!"

6. "With you by my side, Mini-Barbaro, we'll win a purse of TEN MEELLION DOLLARS!"

7. Mm-hm. Panty Raid.

8. Where was Geraldo Rivera during Kent State? NOW YOU KNOW!

9. At last, Mallard Fillmore's target audience has been identified.

10. "....so look for those beauties all year!"

Posted by: HWRNMNBSOL at March 21, 2007 02:40 PM

#9 I knew Bush was lying when he said he never read newspapers.

Posted by: iokiyar at March 21, 2007 03:51 PM

Got to hit #4 up...

"Subpoena, I though you said, 'suppository'..."

Posted by: Frederick at March 21, 2007 04:05 PM

#2 "Christ, what a hole!"

Posted by: dtestd at March 21, 2007 05:11 PM

1. This is actually a promo for the sequel, "Thirtysomething Ninja Turtles: The Legend of Raphael's Bachelor Party."

2. Oh, the fun we have with Indian Gaming Revenues!

3. The children of Hogwarts experienced disappointment tinged with fear when Hagrid returned from his St. Patrick's Day Festivities.

4. Albertobot is displeased.

5. Awwww. I got nuthin but awwww.

6. Budweiser introduces it's mascot for the new "100 calorie" sized can.

7. Spider-lech! Spider-lech! Climbs in to steal your undies like a spider can!

8. Damn- captured by the riot police, AND your allergies are acting up.

9. Well THIS explains the recent slippage in copy editing quality at the Wash Post.

10. "Where's Waldeaux?"

Posted by: Vestal Vespa at March 21, 2007 06:56 PM

#2: Interestingly, most of the skywalk's profits came from the sale of brown trousers in the gift shop.

Posted by: Ronald Brak at March 21, 2007 07:27 PM

#4 Loyal Bushie.

Posted by: Kop at March 22, 2007 06:58 AM