February 14, 2007

These Captions Love You Completely and Unconditionally

Happy Valentine's Day! Let's celebrate by doing the exact same thing we do every week... trying to take over the world unloading 10 captions plus a practice picture on the readership. Click on the thumbnails for a larger, context-revealing picture, try your hand at as many as you want, and tell me your faves in the comments. Gotta be #1, although it may need slight re-tooling.

1. Sorry, honey, but how was I to know that your pet hamster didn't bounce?

2. Yo quiero una murder-suicide pact.

3. Try as they might, Japanese kiosk androids have not yet successfully crossed the organic threshold.

4. I'm afraid he's got us... there's nothing in the Old Testament prohibiting this type of coupling.

5. Must.. resist.. urge.. to.. stiff-arm!

6. [Practice picture! I'm speechless!]

7. Anakin Skywalker (L), in a throes of a mid-life crisis, quits his Death Star job and decides to live it up in the French Riviera club scene.

8. NO. MORE. QUESTIONS. ABOUT. IRAQ. How's that for a signature?

9. Another day, another open casting call for 24.

10. No, honey, I don't rightly know why somebody would cover themselves in extreme Michael Beck closeups.

11. Answering the tagline, I'd have to say yes. I spent $35 on a movie ticket, Junior Mints, medium popcorn, and a large coke to see a humorless shitfest.

In the words of the late, great Barry White, my unlimited love to y'all.




Posted by Norbizness at February 14, 2007 12:23 AM
Comments

9 of these 11 pictures make strong arguments against the existence of an intelligent designer.

That said, I liked Norb's #1 and 5

5. It's only been two weeks and already we got the second mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. ... It's a storybook!

6. "My boys can swim!"

"Yeah, well my boys can walk, talk, and hawk [Durex condoms] in Bangkok!"

Posted by: Montag at February 13, 2007 09:24 PM

Very funny. #5 and #9 in particular really cracked me up.

As for #6: Times have been tough recently for Shonen Knife.

Posted by: Brando at February 13, 2007 11:07 PM

#6: It looks like the sperm sample of the Jolly Green Giant.

Posted by: zachjones4 at February 13, 2007 11:13 PM

Does that mean you'll love me for as long as you "breath" like Dusty promised me?

'Cause that's a long time.

Posted by: melior at February 14, 2007 12:37 AM

#6: Earthling males make hundreds of millions of sperm for each mating. On my planet we make one sperm. Period.

Posted by: Ronald Brak at February 14, 2007 01:14 AM

Nice work, #2 and #4 especially. Here's my halfassery:

1. President Happy Gilmore.

3. "Why was I programmed to feel pain?! Why?!"

5. NBC President Jeff Zucker doesn't realize it, but we've secretly replaced his Tiki Barber with a smooth serving of decaffienated Ronde Barber.

6. "I'm not getting shot out of that thing. What if he's masturbating? I'm liable to end up on the ceiling!"

10. Asking for a full-body tattoo of the Phantom Zone was probably a bad idea. But the leopard print? Classic.

Posted by: Otto Man at February 14, 2007 07:15 AM

6: ...and then Daddy puts his previously unemployed temporary employees in Mommy's kitchen and she starts baking...

7: The Broadway version of The Seventh Seal opened to rave reviews.

Posted by: Paperpusher at February 14, 2007 07:52 AM

Good batch this week, Norb. Too bad I don't have time to reciprocate your love or come up with anything clever. Nonetheless,

3. Unfortunately for Shimizu-san, the object of his desire was programmed to trap for ACK attacks and default deny his package.

5. "And Jeffrey's getting laaarger!"

7. Uncle Fester finally comes out of the closet.

8. "These have many uses. For example, in about 20 months I can flip this baby over and scrawl 'Will Shrill for Food' on it."

10. "And if I twist my body just so, I can get the top face to do a Cheney smirk and the bottom to do a stymied Fitzgerald."

Posted by: arghous at February 14, 2007 10:16 AM

4. Luca Brasi maintained his rep as the joker of the Corleone crew.

Posted by: Dick Durata at February 14, 2007 11:40 AM

3. "...because, Asmiov knows, I wouldn't love your ugly ass if I didn't have to."
6. The next level of Bukkake.
11. Because everyone's forgotten about Pluto Nash.

Posted by: Hysterical Woman at February 16, 2007 11:04 AM