August 10, 2006
That's So Sweet
Strawconservative: The fact that the British police force made a number of terrorism-related arrests today shows that you were wrong to deny the threat that terrorism poses.
Strawme: I never said that, I said that worldwide terrorism was on the increase thanks to the idiot foreign policy of our abortion of an Administration pursues. The numbers bear that out. Furthermore, you'll carefully notice that this particular plot was not thwarted by the British military creating a flypaper-ridden zone somewhere in Paraguay.
Strawconservative: Well, I don't see you pissing your pants in abject, existential fear.
Strawme: I wanted to show resolve against the threat.
Strawconverative: You too? But I also wanted to show resolve!
Strawme: We can do it together, strawconservative.
Strawconservative: (sniffling) You know, I spent all this time trying to hate you for undermining our country, but in the end...
Strawme: Maybe you didn't remember me calling our foreign policy a failure, labelling the Administration an abortion, and comparing our quagmire in Iraq to some hypothetical, insane military excursion into South America. By the way, they were all Pakistani.
Strawconservative: (eyes narrowing) Fucking stabbed Lieberman in the back, that's what you did. (gasps) Oh shit, we're all doomed! DOOOOOOMMMEEEEDDD!!!!
For another take on today's events, featuring quotes from actual conservatarians that far outstrip my parodic attempts, see the latest at Lawyers, Guns & Money. Naturally, the idiocy of these reactionary online cretins is then outstripped by oily, indicted ex-leaders and professional lying douchebags.
UPDATE: And, of course, everybody non-Democrat's favorite Democrat, Joe Lieberman himself. We did completely hose the Dad from ALF's family over! And, of course, the usual Administrational suspects.
That was excellent! This should be a regular feature, just like "Formidable Opponent".
Posted by: Sniper at August 10, 2006 05:47 PMthis keeps up, the democrats will become known as the grown-up party. of course, who would want it to keep up? only a republican would find a silver lining (for them) in tragedy.
Posted by: paperpusher at August 11, 2006 07:36 AM"ax da strawman"?
Posted by: dexter at August 11, 2006 10:59 AMand, btw, we all know how well the dad from alf turned out.
Posted by: dexter at August 11, 2006 11:04 AM