Happy Furry Puppy Story Time with Norbizness

So why hasn't Merle made it into these caption posts, eh? Not newsworthy enough for you?!

I liked #7 & 8.

1. George Lucas -- having lost all enthusiasm for promoting the franchise after experiencing a 'moment of clarity' in the middle of an Episode XII press junket -- apathetically introduces the movie to it's premier audience.

6. Caption this, motherfuckers!

#4 Local college girl drops two bombs on Beirut.

#5 Defense Secretary kills with his cabinet beaver impressions.

PRACTICE CAPTION 6: This is so embarrassing! I should have known better than to lick a plane of glass in sub-zero temperatures!

1. Anybody who wants to ask me about the damn dildo thing already can just leave now!

2. International tensions fade when President Bush taps JimmyJeff GannonGuckert to head the Unilateral Backrub Commission.

3. Simultaneously both went for the ball, and the coconut-like sound of their heads colliding secretly delighted the press corps.

4. It's a good thing Ronnie's not alive to see this. Had this been 1983, we'd still be in effin' Lebanon.

6. What? You think we'd go two weeks in a row without a frickin' bear picture? Suckers!

7. Bill O'Reilly nearly launched his falafel before being told that no, this was merely fog, not a terraist gas attack on San Francisco.

8. Someone call Tom Cruise! We've found another one ripe for the picking for Scientology!

9. CSI Las Vegas faces its toughest challenge yet when dealing with the smoking remains of Jim Brown's acting carrer.

11. The estate of Christopher Reeve donates the use of his likeness for a good cause.

Norb's #2 and #7 are great, and Kop's #4 is da bomb.

8. While the Church was thrilled to see the Mass covered in so much joy, they drew the line at the holy seltzer water.

9. "Surely, the Good Lord wouldn't ruin the best craps game of my life?!"

10. "Nuffin' to worry about, folks. Just put on a bit too much Polident this mornin'."

arghaus #3 - never before has a lame farside caption been put to such good use

#4: The protesters turned down an offer of support from Kate Moss because no one knew what BT stood for.

#5: Hey baby - ever been with a *real* hedgehog?

#7: Gases begin to condense in an atmosphere around barry bonds' head.

#8: Insane clown priesty

#10: next week on Diagnosis: Torture...

1. "Mr. McDonald - can you tell us where your career went?"

2. "Say - didja used to have hair before I sent your a$$ into a war zone? Sorry about your luck. Heh heh heh"

3. Yet another example of the potential problems that might occur if you give wrestlers Crazy Glue and then leave them unattended.

4. Two of the biggest reasons I can think of to be nice to Beirut.

5. David Hasslehoff, sans makeup, on a bad hair day.

6. Bruno shows us all why he's a silver-tongued devil who's loved by all the ladies...

7. And now, a little Foggy Mountain Breakdown...

8. the First Church of The Holy Pratfall has its' inaugural Summer Camp Parade.

9. The Invisible Sky Fairy reacts to crapping out at the high stakes table at the Luxor.

10. Kung-fu master Donald Rumsfeld demonstrates the Smiling Jackal to a dissenter who got a little too close for comfert.

11. Annthraxx Coulterbeast's got a new man to blow these days...

6. "If they make me drink one more bottle of that Coca Cola crap I swear to god I'm going to maul the lot of them."

8. Here we see a religious procession honoring Our Lady of Perpetual Amusement.

10. Rumsfeld won over an initially hostile press with his side-splitting Dr. Strangelove impression.

11. Oddly enough, replacing humans with blow-up dolls actually improves the level of driving.

By the way, Norb, thanks for recognizing that San Francisco is 'The City'. Not everyone who doesn't live here understands that.

Also, Generik is going to kill me for saying this, but he's a dead ringer for Michael McDonald.

It's not "shammy", it's "chamois". A French word, no less! Well, it's obvious where YOUR allegiance lies, Mr Surrender Monkeybiz.

6. I shall consume the next zoo patron who utters the phrase, "Hey, how 'bout this heat?"

1. "And to the 40-Year-Old Virgin, I say: GET OUTTA TOWN!"

2. "Back rub? kiss your belly? what's your pleasure?"

3. It's Massed Dreadlocks vs. Half-Dead Jocks!

4. "I-raq, you idiots! I said I wanted more news photos of *I* raq!"

5. I know it's tragic, but that incredibly high-pitched death rattle is hysterical.

6. "Call a vet! that cute Coca-Cola bear is choking on a shoe-horn!"

7. "Come back tomorrow, peoples, and Bill Alexander will FIRE more Prussian blue into zis painting!"

8. Dia De Los Bozos.

9. What happens in Babylon....stays in Babylon.

10. SOMEBODY's proud of his Super Poly Grip.

11. Man, now I can drive in the HOV lane every damned day!

#1 Michael McDonlad points in the general direction of his dignity.

#2 "Can I call ya 'baldy?' get it? Cuz you're bald, hehehehehe..."

#3 The new Coneheads movie will be verrrrrry gay friendly.

#4 She wishes those were brains.

#5 Ann Coulter appeared in public yesterday in a green sweater instead of the usual black cocktail dress.

#6 "Please *pant* bring *pant* back *pant* my *pant* fucking *pant* iceberg."

#7 Global warming has brought San Francisco summertime temperatures to a sweltering 76 degrees.

#8 I don't like people who get dressed up in funny outfits and scare children. I don't like clowns, either.

#9 The Luxor has to install extra heavy-duty lightning rods when Rove is in town.

#10 "Oh the shark bites...with his teeth dear..."

#11 Matt...Damon...

to jump in with the nitpicking, it's not "shammy" it's "Chamois" (which is pronounced exactly the same)- Evidently, The Chamois are obscure, goat-like creatures living in the alps. In addition to having really soft leather (hence the cloths), the evidently taste good, too.

/It's better if Bush espys a baldie and thinks (shudder) give me twenty minutes while I rub him down with some turtle wax and the skin of an obscure goat-like alpine mammal.

now that's sexxy.