July 20, 2006
The Left is Attacking Israel With Snowflake Babies!
Oh no! Blastocysts over Jerusalem!
Frankly, I expected more outrage at the things that I, The Left, have done and said in the last week, but it's relatively slim pickens (for previous compiled diatribes, see this category; for the origins of my superpowers, see here):
-- Saying “sh*t” out loud in a public place may have lost almost all of its shock value since The Left has degraded language and meaning. But all of that is forgotten when Bush uses the term. I've tried saying "shasteriskt" in public, but all I get are a bunch of confused looks. But I really don't think that I've degraded it's meaning. Y'all still can envision a "pile of shasteriskt," right? You get the metaphorical meaning when Private Pyle said he "was in a world of shasteriskt"?
-- I haven’t decided on the exact theme of this blog as of yet, but you can bet your sweet bippy that highlighting the insanity and inanity of The Left is going to be foremost in a lot of my writing. Pardon me, sir. I represent the estates of Dan Rowan and Dick Martin, and I'm afraid we're going to have to shut down your superfluous and probably crappy blog for the unauthorized use of "bet your sweet bippy." What, Dick Martin isn't dead? No way!
-- The fetal stem cells have never been proven to work, and that is what The Left is screaming about, because it hits a cord with the lesbian feminists that are in support of offing every unborn child in the country. If it's a joke blog, it's a far more elaborate one than I would have put my time into. If not, then (slowly backing away).
-- Now The Left is engaged in a swiftboating of Joe Lieberman. It is an attempt to falsely portray him as right wing Bush supporter. It is a vile lie. Say, does anybody remember actually picking this guy for our team? Where did he come from, anyway?
-- In the United States, The Left constantly sides with the enemies of America, no matter how bad they are or what they intend to do to this country. But this sickness is not limited to the American Left: in Israel, now under siege by Islamic terrorists bombarding its cities with rockets, The Left is marching on behalf of those same terrorists. Wow, I'm just like Santa Claus, perceived by the wide-eyed children of every country a little bit differently. And remember, my international readers: there are still franchises open to play "The Left" in the United Arab Emirates, Burkina Faso, Argentina, and the newly formed nation of Montenegro. Apply within!
You can click on the embedded links to read the full posts (you masochist), but remember to tread tightly upon visiting the fragile habitats of our linked friends...
It hits a cord all right. An umbilical cord.
Posted by: Carl the Big Fool at July 20, 2006 08:25 AMThat is probably the funniest post title ever.
I clicked thru all the links and could actually feel myself getting stupider.
Posted by: Nancy in Detroit at July 20, 2006 09:08 AM[cringe]Oh, Nancy.[/cringe] Never do that. Clicking through to just one or two a week is more than plenty.
Posted by: Montag at July 20, 2006 09:44 AM"The fetal stem cells have never been proven to work, and that is what The Left is screaming about, because it hits a cord with the lesbian feminists that are in support of offing every unborn child in the country."
I love it. It's like everything you could possibly imagine and more in idiot wingnuttia. Just on a small thing like getting a simple idiom like "strikes a CHORD" wrong is amazing.
Plus everyone knows that lesbian feminists don't support offing every unborn child. I mean they feast on living children, so how are they going to eat if they off them before they're born.
Well, for "slim pickens" I think this a more than adequate post. Good enough to link to... possibly.
My favorite part was the Wittman comeuppance. You know, if it's your turn and there's only one person left to pick, I don't really consider that a choice.
Posted by: oyster at July 20, 2006 10:45 AMMy favorite part from Demon blog's post was this:
"The president said he would veto it in '01, so why are they trying to get it passed now? Possibly they thought that with all of the action in the middle east, they may have had a shot of pushing it through."
Pffft. Like you'd need a whole Middle Eastern war to distract the president from his job. National security briefings have ended, for intents and purposes, at the jingle of a dog's collar.
Posted by: Travis G. at July 20, 2006 12:36 PMthe chilling thing about wittman's screed is when he claims Lieberman is in the mainstream of the Democratic leadership. he's being made an example of for his defections, but can we really deny it when people like Boxer and Bill Clinton speak on his behalf? his seat is only the first that needs to be overhauled. you can imagine that if the Dems gain back one or both chambers, Lieberman and those like him will be only to happy to put the brakes on whatever slim majority we have.
as for the demon, this is pure entertainment:
"If the president and Condi are smart, they will play that card (demand that the people of Lebanon and Iran rise up to denounce their governments), and get backing from the people of those two countries. Possibly the Axis of evil could desintigrate from the inside."
It may be slim pickings, but this week's batch had a bunch of real doozies. It seems like The Left can be blamed for anything. Observe:
Ever since The Left instituted an active campaign against fossil fuels, my brakes keep squealing.
The Left goes on and on about organic foods, so the selection of candy at the supermarket is limited to only two aisles.
The Left hates babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me.
Etc.
Posted by: ChrisV82 at July 20, 2006 02:14 PMNorbizness,
I do believe this is the funniest week for the Left ever! Thank you and keep up the good work!
Posted by: Doodle Bean at July 20, 2006 05:50 PM"The president said he would veto it in '01, so why are they trying to get it passed now?"
Coming into this week, Bush was -- what? -- 0-for-12 in following through on veto threats? He huffed and puffed on the ports deal, two separate budget bills, an FAA bill, the anti-torture resolution, a pension issue, a spending bill, and funding for Iraq, just to name the ones I can remember. And he chickened out of every one of those.
But I guess if you're the kind of simpleton who truly believes Bush "says what he means and means what he says" then, yeah, maybe you would take him at his word.
Posted by: Otto Man at July 20, 2006 06:43 PMJoobo, the King of Wisdom, has more than 80 screeds up on his homepage (way more, I tired of counting). Zero comments on any of them.
Surely he's just gone and purged the lot. It can't be that he's making all that noise and no one really cares..
Posted by: rat-terrier at July 20, 2006 11:05 PMAttack of the lesbian feminist babykillers-- coming soon to a movie theatre near you!
Wuhahaha...
Posted by: zoe kentucky at July 21, 2006 03:50 PMI just want to know when "swiftboating" as an adjective became a bad thing to people like Bullmoose. According to them, wasn't Kerry really a coward et al, and so "swiftboating" was just telling a truth that no one wanted to hear?
So if we are now doing the same about Lieberman, aren't we just telling a truth about him that no one wants to hear as well?
Posted by: crazynick at July 22, 2006 12:39 PM