Happy Furry Puppy Story Time with Norbizness

Don't buy a house with live termites. It's kind of fun to live dangerously, but when the ceiling and all the insulation falls in to bathroom sink and tub, it's a bit of a downer.

Get your puppy now and get him housebroken before you move into your new home.

If you have the time (and I can see by the looks of the blog that you just might), don't go through a mortgage broker or a real estate agent. Do all the research and work yourself. It's a real learning experience and you get quite a rush at closing, when you're hoping you did everything right.

If you're thinking "fixer uppers are more affordable" keep in mind that fixing things up always takes three or four times longer than you think, that you're going to run into a cash flow problem where you can't afford paint, and that every house has something go wrong with it that you *didn't* know about ahead of time.

Heh, ask this question tonight. I do believe everyone coming is or was a homeowner. Also, you know how we women like to fuss over the menfolk.

I highly recommend getting a home inspection from a reputable company (ask around your area for referrals). A good inspector can dig up all kinds of problems with a house that you might not see otherwise.

Good luck.

I neglected to mention... if my parents had done the above (gotten a home inspection), they might have known that the first house they bought together was being held up by an auto jack in the crawlspace. And that the bathroom plumbing upstairs was electrified, which my sister found out the hard way when she tried to drink out of the bathroom faucet. Did I mention she had braces? Good times.

yes, get an inspection. Absolutely never buy a house without having a REPUTABLE guy with a clipboard and a flashlight walk through looking for cracks in the foundation, live termites, electrified plumbing, etc, etc.

Also... don't buy more house than you can afford. You don't want to chain your life to a mortgage that's going to bleed you dry.

I would say that ARMs are a bad gamble with the possibility of massive national debt just around the corner. You could see a massive spike in your mortgage. Ask that Max Speaks guy why these things are connected. I am sure he (or Atrios, both of them being economists) can tell you more.

Don't buy a house so far from work that you then have to buy a more reliable car just to get there. Then you have two massive payments a month, unless you pay cash for the car.

Think fences, think dogs, and be happy.

I'm a property searcher for a Title Company in Florida. A few pointers:

1) Always and forever get Title Insurance.
2) You don't have to use a realtor, but either way absolutley get a home inspection.
3) If the property isn't in a platted subdivision, insist on an on-site survey by a licensed surveyor.
4) Make sure you get a pest inspection and have the seller pay for it and any treatments required.
5) If you get a mortgage, make sure there are no pre-payment penalties.
6) Find out if there is a homeowner's association and what the fees are.
7) Get a copy of the subdivision's restrictions and READ them. (The title company should have a copy).
8) If you are moving to a new town, crime statistics are usually available on-line.
9) Beware of flood zones. (The title company should be able to tell you if the property is in a flood zone).
10) Don't involve a lawyer. The title company will handle all the paperwork as well as recording fees, mortgages, and insurance.

If I can help you in any way, email me.

Make an iron-clad agreement with the sellers on what exactly will be done with the house before you move in. The filthy bastards we bought our house from kept it clean while it was up for sale, then completely neglected the place for the two months between our offer and the closing. It took us weeks just to get it liveable.

I have been looking for a house since February. Here's some advice, and it is the best advice you will ever get from anybody - everything is overpriced. Even the shit. And there's a lot of shit out there.

Real Estate agents are the biggest liars since Republicans. When they write "lovely colonial with updated kitchen, four bedrooms and great view!!!!!", what they mean is "piece of crap with a kitchen that was updated 33 years ago, three bedrooms and an extra large closet, near the turnpike."

Sellers will be "offended" if you offer them slightly over actual value instead of the bloated asking price.

Seller's agents will always say they have "another offer on the table" or "other people interested." THIS IS USUALLY A LIE.

I even looked at new construction, but that is a joke and a rip-off. Apparently having insulation is an "upgrade." Unless you want to have a bare-bones house, you are probably going to upgrade at least $15,000 worth of stuff just to have a house that should be the minimum standard.

I went to look at a house that advertised itself as having 1.5 acres of land. When I arrived, I noticed 1 acre of it was a retention basin.

I know instantly when a house has mold. Apparently people can accept living with large amounts of fungus.

I have seen so many houses I only need a home inspector to do the roof. I can call 95% of all problems. People tend not to keep their outside electric wiring up to date.

I've noticed a trend of "house jumping." A family buys a home, puts their disgusting kids in it, trash the house, then go to upgrade to a larger new house. If they paid $250,000 for it in 2003, they will ask $450,000 for it in 2005.

On houses 40 years and older, people will rather pay to put in a mirror on their ceiling or a jacuzzi than install central air, even though they have forced air heating (as opposed to radiators, say).

Most old people stop updating anything in their house once their children move out. Find a house that used to be owned by a recently deceased old person and it is like walking into a time portal. I have revisited the 70's and 80's without the use of drugs thanks to the real estate market.

Yuppies will pay for the dumbest shit in the entire world.

Mormons have different pictures of Jesus than Catholics do.

People have no taste. Pink is not an appropriate carpet color. Wallpaper is not supposed to induce headaches. Avacado green went out in the 70's.

I could keep going on, but I'll give it a rest.

I disagree with vachon about a lawyer, and not just because that's my profession. I always have a lawyer check over the contract and anything else. It is their job to know the law and keep you out of legal problems.

Also, good luck finding a good agent. I have one, but many agents I've dealt with are lazy and incompetant. I had one seller's agent tell me they just put the house on the market and wait for it to sell. Great. Then she raised the house $30,000 when it was almost reasonably priced when it was first listed. Insane.

Inspection, absolutely. Be there with him and take notes. Title insurance, too.

I happen to think a buyer's agent is a good idea. If you don't use one, just remember, the seller's agent works for the seller, not you, and is almost without question a Republican.

Be ruthless. Steel yourself for a bunch of shit. Be prepared to walk if you don't get what you want.

Check what similar homes have sold for in the past two years.

Get the loan pre-approved. Gives you a huge advantage over potential buyers who have to sell another house to raise the money.

Is there radon in Texas? Get tested. By the time you sell it'll be manditory.

Every month put 10% of the mortgage payment in a repair fund for at least the first three years.

A good, recent roof is worth its weight in gold.

Don't go hog wild on remodeling the first year. Learn to live with the place.

The Reader's Digest Fix-It Yourself Manual will teach you a lot and pay for itself the first time you fix a toilet.

Get the first thing that looks good.

I've had some time to think about it, and based on my experience buying a foreclosed fixer-upper, here goes. Don't buy a foreclosed fixer-upper. Besides the reasons mentioned above, you won't find a contractor in the Austin area, unless you are willing to wait a year and pay one million dollars, money you will not recoup when you sell.

Check the attic of your prospective purchase for the previous owners' porn collection and for feral tomcats who've broken in through a vent. This should save you some awkward moments when the alarm-company guys are wiring your system.

Good luck!

Hell, I'm jealous. At the rate I'm going, I will have to:

A. Wait till I'm 40, and
B. Sell an ovary

before I'm even close to being able to afford a house. Especially in the Denver Metro area.

But good luck and Godspeed, Mr. Bizness. Just be sure any sunken living rooms you see are *supposed* to be sunken before you make an offer.

Good comments, esp. from Mr. Riley. I'd also suggest that you check out the exterior grading and make sure it slopes away from the house at an appropriate angle. (Our agent was obsessive about this; he wouldn't even let us go into a house if the grading sucked. When we insisted at one place we liked, and he took us in, we understood why we should've run in the other direction.) If you're looking at anything with a basement, check the walls and carpet for water stains. If there's a sump pump, make sure it's in good condition and easily accessible. Also, along with making sure the roof is solid, check out the gutters and make sure they're clear, wide, not sagging, and discharge far enough from the house.

Can you tell we've had a weensy bit of trouble with water?

1. If there is a HOA, READ and REREAD the CC&R's.
2. Get the Home Inspection - be there with the inspector, and ask questions.
3. Houses owned by older folks are good ones to get - mine had white carpet, walls, and drapes. Added a little color, updated the windows before I moved in, and it looked like a new place on the inside.
4. Double check with your agent (if you use one) about school districts.
5. Check out a prospective neighborhood three times on weekdays - once in the morning (6-9am), once in the afternoon (1-3pm), and once in the evening/night (5-9pm). This will give you a feel for the area; traffic, kids playing (in the street), and what kind of activities happen at these times. A 6am lawn mower is not the best thing to wake to.
6. Remember - buyers lust is short term. If you fall in lust with a place, get a friend to play devils advocate to try to help you see through your rose tinted glasses.

Houses facing east or west are brighter inside.

Buy the largest place (most bedrooms) you can reasonably afford. This will make re-selling easier.

If the soil is a cracker, that is cracks form in the mud when it dries, then beware of poor foundations. If there are existing cracks in the walls and foundations they could get much worse as the soil constantly expands and contracts. If there is snuffy soil, that is water just sits in puddles on the soil without being absorbed then the soil should be stable and minor cracks in the walls and foundations might not get worse as they were only formed as the house settled.

Also check that there is glass in the windows. Don't just assume they are very clean.

Find a place close to a hardware store. Trust me on this.

Make your list of essential characteristics any prospective home must have and stick to them.

If you're using a realtor, don't fall allow yourself to be goaded into seeing houses "just a little higher" than your price range.

An inspection goes without saying.

Number of bedroom is important for reselling, but so is the number of bathrooms.

Yes on an inspection, with the caveat that a bad one is worth as much as the proverbial teats on a boar hog. I had one inspection where the major finding was that there was a safety hazard because the little hand rail on the pull-down attic steps was loose. this inspection also missed the fact that the bathroom fan exhaust discharged into the attic, not a place you want to pump warm, moist air every day.

As a geologist, I also heartily concur on the drainage and foundation issue comments posted above. Central Texas generally has horrible soils, with significant shrink-swell (soils expand when wet and shrink when dry, which makes it like building your house on an accordian). If a house more than 20 years old doesn't have cracks then the foundation should be good (provided they haven't been covered by recent repairs). Bad drainage can mean moisture, foundation and muy expensive structural problems, especially in hilly areas where water may pond against a foundation or crawl space, retaining walls etc. Beware post and beam foundations, especially old cedar posts.

I made good money recently selling a house in San Antonio I bought in 2001. We had bought just outside Alamo Heights and our value went up as people realized that the difference in housing prices was so high that it was cheaper to live outside AH and send your kids to private school (the big selling point was the legendary school district).

I may be leaving Austin soon, but if I were to stay, I would seriously try to live downtown or in the close in central areas. Regardless of one's views of gentrification and displacement, close in on the east side will probably increase in value, especially in areas without monster run-down apt complexes, industrial sites, or other long-term nuisances. I expect the hideous nature of commuting in Austin to only get worse (why people put up with this shit is, to me, most perplexing). Oh, yeah, and expect $5/gal gasoline and $20/mmbtu natural gas in the next few years as well. Think heating and cooling efficiency and minimizing commute distances for other cost savings.

1. House inspection by a reputable inspector
2. Full title search and title insurance
3. Lot survey if there isn't a recent one.
4. After the house inspection, check the integrity of the foundation yourself. No gaps, no cracks, no voids.
5. Get at the floor joists and;
a. Drive a nail into random joists;
b. look for any rot around sewer and water lines and wherever water might appear (under bathroom/kitchen)
6. Take a look at county or municipal records to determine if the property is on anything like a flood plain, old landfill, etc.