Happy Furry Puppy Story Time with Norbizness

I DJed for the radio station in college, and one time heard one of my less rap-inclined colleagues refer to MC Serch as "McSerch." Awesome.

Alright, here's my dirty dozen:

1. Spokes Mashiyane, "Meva" -- A South African instrumental that has so much happy pipe in it, it sounds like it came from a 1930s Disney cartoon. 7/10

2. Joan Jett and Paul Westerberg, "Let's Do It" -- Doesn't sound like it would work, but by God it does. 7/10

3. Isaac Hayes, "Hyperbolicsyllablecsesquedalymistic" -- It's off an album called Hot Buutered Soul. There are four songs, and at 9 1/2 minutes, it's the short one. 9/10

4. Bloc Party v. Nine Inch Nails, "Bloc of Nails" -- I can't even remember where I dug this one up. Pretty nice, though it winds up sounding like neither band. 8/10

5. Dead Kennedys, "Jock-O-Rama" -- How 'bout the hogs, indeed. 6/10

6. Belly, "Super-Connected" -- Mmmmm. Tanya Donnelly. Mmmmm. 7/10

7. Stevie Wonder, "My Cherie Amour" -- I love Stevie, but this song should've resulted in jail time. 1/10

8. Cal Tjader, "Soul Sauce (Fila Brazillia Remix)" -- This may be the single best song from that Verve Remixed series. I love Tjader anyway, and he's tailor made for electronica remixes. 9/10

9. The Replacements, "Androgynous" -- A classic Mats tune, made all the more dear to me for having seen them perform it a couple times, always late in the show, always perfectly. 8/10

10. The Aqua Velvets, "Spanish Blue" -- A surf band with a great name and a mediocre sound. Eh. 5/10

11. Howlin' Wolf, "Three Hundred Pounds of Joy" -- Not his best tune, but it's Howlin' Wolf. you think you're better than him? 6/10

12. Miho Hatori, "Crazy for You" -- I'm a sucker for cover songs of pop hits, and this one is just beautiful. Slow and sweet. 10/10

That gives me a 6.9. Thanks, Stevie.

I'm a glutton for punishment. Bring on the pain!

1. Beck, "Derelict" - Wow. Starting out strong this week. Funky, slow-burning song about...? Eh, who knows? And who cares? 8/10.

2. Death Cab for Cutie, "Soul Meets Body" - This is the single off the new album (Plans). Not the strongest song on the album, by far, but it has this really insistent mandolin harmony line that, combined with the acoustic bass, really works its way into my head and refuses to leave. 7/10.

3. Pixies, "Space (I Believe In)" - Ah, parenthetical titles. The blessing (and curse) of the 80s. Anyway: Jefrey! With one f, Jefrey! 7/10.

4. The Killers, "Mr. Brightside" - Darlings of the 80s new wave revival sound. This song is pretty good, and it was their breakout hit, but that video with Eric Roberts...WTF? 6/10.

5. Bjork, "Aurora" - The more I listen to Vespertine, the more I like it. This is probably one of the better songs off the album - Bjorks elfin voice somehow soaring into an almost hymn-like sound. 8/10.

6. Nirvana, "Paper Cuts" - Eh. This song just really doesn't do it for me. 5/10.

7. Coldplay, "Twisted Logic" - I read somewhere that X&Y, the album which this song is off of, sounds like modern-day Bread. I don't know if that's a good thing. 5/10.

8. Weezer, "No Other One" - When Pinkerton first came out, I hated it. It wasn't nearly as accessible as the blue album, and was (I thought at the time) criminally short. Now, ten years later, I love it. Go figure. 7/10.

9. Foo Fighters, "Everlong" - Hey, there's my crappy music! I like this song, though, so it's getting a: 5/10.

10. Alanis Morrissette, "Unsent" - Dear Sky Fairy: Can you tell me what the fuck I was thinking when I paid money for this? Thanks. 2/10.

11. Better Than Ezra, "Closer" - I recognize that Better Than Ezra hasn't ever really been cool, per se. But they make some lovely music (along with some utter crap, but that's not important now), and this is one example of it. 7/10.

12. The Gourds, "Gin and Juice" - I know next to nothing about The Gourds, other than they're a bluegrass band. This concert recording was given to me by a coworker, and damn if it's not the best version of Snoop Dogg's classic I've ever heard. My first ever: 10/10.

Aggregate score: 6.42. Fucking Alanis.

Wait, when did Miho Hatori make a solo release? Damnit.

We lurkers have to expose some emabarrassing onformation? It's like a slumber party up in here. Well, the first time I got my period, it stained my pants and I didn't know it. I totally went up and talked to this guy who I thought was the cutest! No wonder he just walked away!
Ok, I just copied that from Teen magazine...

My embarrassing confession? I don't have an iPod (or technological equivalent). I'm stuck with the discman. Last night was Gillian Welch and the Liz Phair album everyone hates (is that a second embarrasing confession?).

Muenchener Freiheit - Germans loves their Beatles

Wait, when did Miho Hatori make a solo release?

I'm not sure she did. It's off a compilation of love songs my wife had.

Donald Rumsfeld gets the Gas Face

I saw Los Straightjackets open for Tom Petty about seven years ago. Aren't they all white guys who pretend to be Mexican?

norbizness, you Joss Whedon hater, I'm de-lurking for the only thread I can possibly contribute to.

I'm at work, so these are songs I've downloaded. Without paying for. They are either free, or ill-gotten. Sorry, I know it makes baby Jesus cry, but I would hazzard a guesss that more of my disposable income goes towards music and musicians than most Americans. So there.

1. Steve Earle "Tom Ames' Prayer" - Some of Steve's best lyrics, in my opinion, although I prefer his rock to the psuedo-bluegrass on the album track. Still, the last couple of lines,
"Aw, who the hell am I talkin' to, there ain't nobody here but me/So he cocked both his pistols, spit in the dust, and walked out into the street" sends chills down my spine. 7/10

2. The Postal Service "Sleeping In" - Quirky techno-pop and damned if the Death Cab guy's voice hasn't grown on me. It may not be incredibly innovative, but it makes me happy. And isn't that what it's all about? 6/10

3. The Black Dahlia Murder "The Blackest Incarnation" - Fuckin' A. Pretty straight up speed metal with death metal vocals. Representing Swedish death metal in Detroit. I saw them and was the oldest person at the concert. Yippee. 6/10

4. The Chemical Brothers "Loops of Fury" - Hands down my favorite CB track. Hellooo, Brixton! This is big beat. Tracks like this make me believe the hype. 8/10

5. Ratatat "Seventeen Years" - Casio meets guitar meets my tapping foot. Great stomping beat that segues into and out of a pretty little melody. Great intro. too "I been rappin' for about seventeen years. I don't like my stuff anymore" 7/10

6. Winnebago Deal "Hondo" - The backing band for Mondo Generator. Two guys - guitar and drums. Absolute, balls to the wall rock and roll. Almost washes the taste of neutered clear channel "rock" out of your mouth. 8/10

7. Gene Kelly/Donald O'Conner "Moses Supposes" - Doh. I hate musicals, but I saw this movie in film studies and loved it. One morning I had to come into work early and had this urge to hear "Good Morning" Ended up with this. Pretty song. 5/10

8. Leonard Cohen "The Partisan" - I'm not a fan, particularly, but the lyrics and music take me some place. Sorta like Calgon. Chilling and beautiful. 9/10

9. Rollins Band "Disconnect" - Pretty by the number song for them. Sometimes I just need Henry Rollins to yell at me. "You're worthless and weak/I could squash you like a bug" Right back atcha, big guy. 6/10

10. Noir Desir/16 Horsepower "Fire Spirit" - Gun Club remake, and a fucking good one, if you don't mind my saying so. 16 Horsepower are local heroes (Denver) whom I absolutely love to pieces. I hear they're big in France and Germany. Oh, and the Noir Desir guy is in prison in France for killing his girlfriend. How punk is that? Not GG Allin punk, but punk. 8/10

11. Golden Boy/Miss Kittin "Rippin Kittin" (Ellen Allien remix) - I forget how I came across this. The lyrics made me think it was a Misfits cover. It ain't. Ellen Allien's mix is brittle, robotic clockwork. Miss Kittin's smooth voice sails above it like, I dunno a bird or something. I'm a computer programmer for fuck's sake, 8/10

12. Monster Magnet "Silver Future" - I make no excuses for my love of Monster Magnet. You got a problem with rock and roll? Fuck you. Dave Wyndorf has shit better rock and roll than those pasty little pussies in Oasis could dream of coaxing out of Abbey Road. Put down your "'ow to play th' beet-les" listen to this, you pathetic losers 9/10

Hardly fair since I don't have to delve into a ipod-sized collection, but whaddya gonna do?

7.75. Yes!

Bonus 13th track here is Dread Zepplin's "Heartbreaker"

1) The Millionaire Poets -- Zumpano; Good early A.C. Newman as lispy and hooky as ever. (8/10)
2) Jets -- Moonbabies: More Swedish Techno-Pop. Probably the worst band name ever. (6/10)
3) Lonesome Dove -- Shudder to Think; It isn't Pony Express Record, but this soundtrack album is great in its own way. Man he likes the vibrato. (6/10)
4) Little Rhymes -- Mercury Rev; one of my favs. (9/10)
5) So Lonely -- The Police; god I have a lot of Police songs. One of their better ones. (5/10)
6) She Sends Kisses -- The Wrens; Good one. (8/10)
7) Beyond & Back -- X; Any X song gets between a 7 or 8 automatically. (7.5/10)
8) Milk Man -- Deerhoof; These guys are definitely out there. I love it. (8/10)
9) Flux=Rad -- Pavement; It's like Pavement doing Nirvana. It ain't pretty. (4/10)
10) The New Romance -- Pretty Girls Make Graves; Pretty Girls Make Crap 80's Rock. (3/10)
11) What Cool Breezes Do -- Digable Planets; I went to High School with one of these guys. (5/10)
12) Lady Stardust -- David Bowie; Brilliant. (9/10)

6.54 average. A record for me (I think)

Bonus no. 13. 'Vitamin C' by Can. Would have really raised the average. One of the best songs ever recorded.

Totally concur on the Colin Blunstone remark. As good a pop singer as ever was.

"Kya Hua Tera Wada," Mohammed Rafi -- Now this is some prime Bollywood shit. Not too long, not too shrill and some cool stuff going on with the guitar. 8/10

"Honeymoon," The Muffs -- I know I used to like a couple of their songs, but damned if I can't figure out which ones. 6/10

"These Days," Elliott Smith -- Crappy recording of a great song, but totally superfluous if you've got Nico's version. (Jackson Browne wrote this when he was a teenager, which blows my fucking mind.) 6/10

"You Give Love A Bad Name," Bon Jovi -- Now how'd that get on there? 4/10

"Oh Sherrie," Steve Perry -- Two-out-of-ten might seem inflated to you, but wait'll you're drunk. You'll think it's a 10.

"Sainte Suzanne," Jacques Dutronc -- He's amazing, but this is a rather boring instrumental. 5/10

"Gouge Away," Pixies -- Arguably their best song. 9/10

"Moments In Love," Art of Noise -- Dang, I'm gettin' horny up in here. 8/10

"Mouth Wooed Her," Animal Collective -- Not one of their best, but still good for 8/10.

"Losing My Edge," LCD Soundsystem -- This might be the theme song for this exercise. If you haven't heard it, find a way to do so. 10/10

Bonus: "Cloudbursting," Kate Bush -- This song totally rules. Apparently, whoever produced that song, "Girlfriend," by Pebbles thought so, too. (I actually shouldn't know that.) 8/10

Aggregate: 6.73

Another Friday musical update from me. I think I'll start doing these, 'cos they're fun.

1. Uncle Tupelo - Watch Me Fall - I like Uncle Tupelo a lot better than Wilco. That either makes me a heretic or a trendmaker. This is one of their songs after they went country, and it's decent. 6/10

2. Fountains of Wayne - Stacy's Mom - a.k.a. the worst possible Fountains of Wayne song for my mp3 player to choose. I have every single album AND that kinda crappy odds-and-sods album they put out recently. I swear I've liked them for years. Yes, this track is rather below average. 3/10

3. Garbage - Right Between the Eyes - I don't think my mp3 player likes me very much today. I happen to like this song fine, and Garbage is OK, but it's off of their critically-panned most recent album. And it's not as good as "Run Baby Run". 5/10

4. Architecture in Helsinki - To and Fro - Ahh, back to the "cool" stuff. For those not in the know, they're from Australia and they play quirky pop with lots of different instruments. I've never given this album the listen it deserves, so this gets a generic 7/10.

5. Death Cab for Cutie - We Have the Facts and We're Voting Yes - I am not a huge Death Cab fan. My favorite song of theirs is their cover of "This Charming Man", which gives you some idea of the caliber of fan I am. That said, I give this a 6/10, because it's off of one of their pre-OC albums.

6. Sufjan Stevens - A Good Man Is Hard to Find - Seven Swans is a decent album. It's pretty, religious folk music. I prefer "All the Trees of the Fields Will Clap Their Hands", but this is still nice. 8/10

7. The Unicorns - Tuff Luff - The Unicorns are weird. There's no two ways around it. This is the song with their brief break into rapping about nuclear war, so I'd rate it a 9/10.

8. Los Fabulosos Cadillacs - Vasos Vacios (with Celia Cruz) - I. Love. This. Song. Argentinean ska with the Queen of Salsa herself dueting with the lead singer. It's a really, truly beautiful song. 10/10

9. Pizzicato Five - Groovy Is My Name - P5 are really, really happy. And they make me happy as well. This isn't one of my favorites off of the album (The Night Is Still Young is damn near perfect), but it's still pretty good. 7/10

10. The Smiths - Hand in Glove - Evidently, my mp3 player has made up with me. The harmonica part is instantly hummable, and it's miserable Morrissey at his finest. 9.5/10

11. The Beatles - She Came in Through the Bathroom Window - While it doesn't exactly scream "throwaway!", it isn't exactly the most essential song they ever made either. And it's about creepy teenage stalkers. And it's part of a suite. 6/10

12. Beck - Que Onda Guero - I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I don't really like Beck. I don't know why I still have this album in my collection. Nevertheless, this song is more tolerable than most of his oeuvre ($10 word alert); 7/10.

B-b-b-bonus: Shadowy Men on a Shadowy Planet - Theme from TV (best band ever? maybe not. But still rawkin' the caucus.)

Score: 6.96. Thanks a lot, Stacy's Mom.

Mine is here.

The best song I got, because who bothers to follow the link, was:

3. White Stripes - Blue Orchid: This song is awesomeness distilled into 2:37 of pure sonic energy. Clanging cymbals, throbbing bass drum, and that miraculous bass tuning of Mr. Jack White. I believe this song takes it to 11.

How's this for an embarrassing fact: the whole rating system is entirely mysterious to me. Here are twelve with my terrible attempt at rating.

1. Duke Ellington, Max Roach, and Charles Mingus, "Very Fine" - Oh my lord, yes! That's 10/10 if anything is.

2. Howlin' Wolf, "Spoonful" - I'm so sick of that song, but it's Howlin Wolf. 6/10

3. Fishbone, "Ghetto Soundwave" - This is where the whole rating system gets hinky. Is Fishbone cool? All I'm certain of is that of recorded tracks including the word 'bourgeois', it's the funkiest known. 7/10

4. Thelonious Monk, "I Hadn't Anyone Till You" - Not a typical Monk track, but Solo Monk wasn't a typical Monk record. 7/10

5. John Lee Hooker, "Drug Store Woman" - Man, I love this song. 7/10

6. Les Paul, "Guitar Boogie" - Er, lots of novelty value, and he sure can play, but I'm glad I don't have to hear this song every day. 4/10. Oh wait, "Stacy's Mom"=4? 5/10

7. Stevie Wonder, "Don't You Worry About A Thing" - Pretty good track, but not even close to the best track on Innervisions. 6/10

8. House of Pain, "Put Your Head Out" - Ouch. There are some great House of Pain songs, but this isn't one. A natural 4, but gets a bonus point because B Real guests. 5/10

9. The Roots, "Electric Boogaloo" - One of my favorite Roots tunes. That vocal (is it Erykah Badu?) takes it to another level. 7/10

10. Rage Against the Machine, "Testify" - Eh. 5/10

11. Beastie Boys, "High Plains Drifter" - So, I guess the Beasties are passe, but I totally dig this song. 7/10

12. Cream, "Spoonful" - Crap. 1/10

Bonus: Poor Righteous Teachers, "Freedom or Death" - Spoonful???

6.08

Fuckin' Los Straitjackets. Those bastardos play up here twice a year and people act like it's the second coming of El Reagan.

My unrated (fuck the NorbPAA) random plays are posted.

Scooter Libby... gets the Gas Face.

Wait... we were supposed to give embarrasing facts about ourselves? Can't we just tell you how cool you are? No? Fine. I overdosed on ketamine once - no joke. Now, on with the audit (BTW, fulsome, only Spinal Tap "takes it to 11"):

1. Bad Religion - "The Defense". Off to a good start here. I can't believe these guys are still going strong after 25 years. You getting all this, dudes at the Pentagon? 8/10.

2. Dead Kennedys - "Rambozo The Clown". Okay, so like on almost every other song on Bedtime for Democracy, Jello Biafra is almost impossible to understand until you've heard it a few dozen times, though in this case simply because he's ranting so fast. Still, the music's great and it should get a bonus for making fun of 80's cold war movies, plus for the line at the end. 8/10.

3. Tool - "Lateralus". Next to the "Disposition"/"Reflection"/"Triad" suite, this is the best track on Lateralus. You ever listen to this track? You ever listen to this track... ON WEED?! Seriously, it's even better when you're high. Probably because it makes it seem shorter than nine minutes. 8/10.

4. Dead Kennedys - "Bleed for Me". Lyrics? Perfect. Music? Awesome. Only reason it doesn't get 10 is because I save that for the "Kinky Sex Makes The World Go 'Round" variation on this song. Note to any skiers out there: if you don't have this on your iPod, get it (it's on Plastic Surgery Disasters) since it's the perfect music to listen to while pounding moguls. 9/10.

5. Creedence Clearwater Revival - "Who'll Stop The Rain". Finally, some not-great music. Still, not terrible. Pretty good for folk rock, actually. 5/10.

6. Nine Inch Nails - "Piggy". This is better than "Closer" (also on The Downward Spiral) in my book. Besides, I've done so much grade inflation, nothing can stop me now 'cause I don't care anymore. 8/10.

7. Bush - "Swim". I'll say it - I like this album (Sixteen Stone). Okay, so some of the lyrics to this song make about as much sense as Beck usually does, but the guitar on it is nice and heavy. 6/10.

8. The Clash - "Atom Tan". I think The Clash are overrated, but this song is great. It seems to pull together what they did best both musically and lyrically. 7/10.

9. Talking Heads - "Psycho Killer". Comment is superfluous, no? 8/10.

10. The Dead Milkmen - "V.F.W.". The Dead Milkmen are fucking hilarious, even if their music is 'eh'. This song sounds almost like ameteurish rockabilly (that's a bad thing), but the lyrics - pure comedy gold. 7/10.

11. Soundgarden - "Get On The Snake". What the hell is that supposed to mean, anyway? Oh, well... their music is great, even if I've hated Chris Cornell ever since his shitty, mercifully brief solo career. But this is far from their best. 4/10.

12. Beck - "Jack-Ass". Trippy, spacey, mellow groove with whacked-out lyrics; perfect Beck. (Almost as good as "Derelict", IMHO, jpb). 8/10.

Average: 86/12=7.1666666... I know my luck can't keep up like this. Where's all my crappy music? I actually ripped a fucking R.E.M. album to my computer once and there's plenty of crap on Metallica's S&M, so it isn't like I lack shitty music. Bonus track: Bad Religion - "Sowing The Seeds Of Utopia".

Oh, yeah, and I'm as mystified by the ratings as zwichenzug is, so I've been guessing. Probably why I manage to get such a high score.

Elastica's second album stunk. Still the best band ever with a Scottish Jewish female lead singer, tho.

Tom DeLay ... gets the gas face.

I believe, Mr. Bizness, that that is the second ELP selection in the last few months. Careful there, add in the Focus track and you might get a reputation as a semi-proghead who uses Yo La Tengo records to cover that up.

The version of Aquatarkus from Welcome Back My Friends is amazing, some of the best Moog work by anyone, anywhere. The story of the song makes sense, but drugs are optional.