Happy Furry Puppy Story Time with Norbizness

Earth Presidents Are Easy!

If by "read" you mean "watched in 8th grade."

A few paragraphs that could not make it to full post status:

1. Did you know that if the ABC show Commander-in-Chief, starring Geena Davis as President of the Untied States, is a success, American women will have a guaranteed right of privacy, abortion rights, equal pay, and freedom from domestic violence in perpetuity? But if it fails... IF IT FAILS to attract the minimum viewership necessary to be declared a network success... it's burqa-and-walking-two-steps-behind time. This is high stakes poker, people. Ignore the next Supreme Court appointment.

2. I checked out the most-banned books list put out by the American Library Association, and found that I had read 21 of them. Or seen the movie. Wait, I caught twelve minutes of Harry Potter and The Puberty of Awkwardness on a hotel TV. Make that twenty-two.

3. There's only approximately 147 shopping days until the next Ten Commandments Day. I am planning on buying the whole deluxe gift set: a claw hammer to bust up graven images, a set of timed door locks that will prevent me from leaving the house on Sunday, anti-coveting sunglasses, and a prevarication-proof vest that monitors my pulse rates and delivers a series of painful shocks every time I bear false witness. No word on whether I will pass muster and be given entry into the select Ten Commandments Commission.

4. Culture Cat has an interesting series of empowering advertisements from 1970s women's magazines. I especially liked the 1973 activism self-audit that appeared to be connected to some sort of roll-on deodorant. "Have you expressed your opinion in areas where you just used to nod your head in agreement? No? NO?!? Wrong answer, stupid! Why don't you just settle for Secret, you weak-ass nothing-person?!?"

5. There's a thin line between causation and correlation. I don't understand what that means, but apparently it's been used as a scholarly retort to this study contrasting America's piss-poor social indicators (STDs, teen pregnancy, violent crime, poverty) with its church going-ness. Instead of dressing it up as a statistical study, this Harper's Magazine article does a better job of teasing out the merging of selected portions of Old Testament dogma with strip-mall capitalism that has turned our city on a hill into a van down by the river.

6. The Poor Man is currently dying for the reactionary apologeiasphere's sins here and here by cataloging some of the lamest, most ill-informed attempts to prop up that oily little power-mad jackass that had to step down as House Majority Leader today. As far as I can tell, the rhetorical strategy is something like this-- just replace the word "badger" with the word "partisan." I don't know what passes for "mushroom" or "It's a snake!" yet.

6a. You know, I just noticed that the animated badger dances pretty well in time to World of Entertainment by Jurassic 5. And most any other song. If you prefer ill-tempered, hairy-shouldered refugees from some unknown Eastern European country, here's nodding Carl.

7. A few changes to the banner: gone is the church sign, up is a screen capture from The Tick animated series (found here) featuring centenerian arch-criminal The Terror chilling with Josef Stalin. During his comeback in the 90s, he had to make do with the Man-Eating Cow, The Human Ton (and Handy), Stalingrad (a Stalin look-like and graduate student in Russian), and Tuun-La, who is not of this Earth. Also, a larger link for my stupid picture page, to which I've recently added current pictures and new categories.

Posted by Norbizness at September 29, 2005 01:09 AM