Happy Furry Puppy Story Time with Norbizness

If it's not clear, Jet Williams is a woman.

I wonder if that church has a big 14' tall Jesus come walking around the stage, dripping blood from glowing stigmata. Kinda like Iron Maiden's 'Eddie'.

Or a giant head of John the Baptist, floating around the stadium like Pink Floyd's pig.

Hell, it'd be pretty cool if Eddie himself came lumbering out in mid-service, unexpected by Osteen. I'd pay good money to see that.

Remember what Jesus said -- wherever two or three thousand are gathered in His name, He is there. If you can only muster up a couple hundred, you're dead to Him.

And, for the record, while Zell hasn't changed his party, he has changed the region he represents. He'd like to be known as Senator Zell Miller, Democrat of Thunderdome. And if you have a problem with that, believe me, he has a way of settlin' it.

If it's not clear, Jet Williams is a woman

Really? And to think that I was thinking of a new lifestyle enclave...Redneck-Metrosexual (you know, like Doug Giles)

Wow. That photo makes Mr. or Ms. Jett look like the most androgenous person ever.

Anyway, I know my small church has been very helpful to my mom in dealing with her depression, and I gotta agree with Norb; What's the point of such huge churches? Shouldn't the point of a church be to help bring a community together? How can you form ties with the other people there, let alone the pastor? Are there pastor TAs to help minister to different sections of the church, or what?

Eh, I'm an atheist, what do I know.

" Shouldn't the point of a church be to help bring a community together?"

The megachurch brings a community together in the form of a commingling of their cash.

I bet every seat in the church has a point-of-sale terminal.

Best entry title ever.

What I'd love to see is every seat in the church programmed to shock the worshipper at the opportune moment so as to simulate his or her own personal brush with the baby Jesus! Maybe a little acid in the wine to facilitate the visitation?

And then someone will get a hole of some bad acid and eat the faces off their fellow parishioners. Come on, that's good clean fun!

Shouldn't the point of a church be to help bring a community together?

Naw, it's to provide rip-roarin' Jesus-themed religio-tainment.

Wait--a disco ball? Maybe we have true believers here. I'm holding until they bust out the roller skates, though.

Now they have a venue for Justice Sunday III: Operation American Theocracy!

You may be forgetting one key thing:

These megachurches may in fact allow/facilitate the creation of affinity groups within the megachurch community. In some ways, these churches may facilitate group bonding and affiliation.

Now: the next question that comes to mind is: should you be bonding only with single males in their twenties (as the megachurch will often have such a group), or is it healthier to be in a smaller, more complete church? Does the megachurch provide enough room for cross-group relationships? Just some questions before we dismiss so out of hand the megachurch phenomenon.

Jet Williams...Or Tina Yothers?

Or Jan Brady after 20 years of hard-living?

I would argue that the presence of megachurches, like the ones you describe, and the fact that they have not been blown off the Earth's blighted surface by forces from above, combine to form definitive proof that if there is a God, he's not paying attention.

The thing though, is that you might as well just have several small churches join together to form some kind of inter-church league.

I don't think a stadium can really foster a true sense of community. To me a church should be a second home. I don't think a staidum allows you to feel like a participator in church, only a spectator.

What really concerns me is how the pastors can effectively minister to such a large group. Like I asked, are there TAs or something? If I have a problem and I want to consult a church official, how do I do it? I know in my mom's church you just walk up to the pastor after services are over, but I don't see how that works in these mega churches.

Christopher, there's probably a chain-of-command-like situation. So the elders can talk to the pastor, and the deacons to the elders, and the ushers to the deacons. But if you, a seat-filler, try to talk directly to the deacon, he will refer you to the usher, who will give you a demerit and demand at least ten dollars in the next offering plate. That is, offering Hefty bag.

/lifelong Quaker

What I'd love to see is every seat in the church programmed to shock the worshipper at the opportune moment so as to simulate his or her own personal brush with the baby Jesus! Maybe a little acid in the wine to facilitate the visitation?

And then someone will get a hole of some bad acid and eat the faces off their fellow parishioners. Come on, that's good clean fun!
Posted by mac at July 18, 2005 10:30 AM

We're probably already there - they could get that scanner technology that Disney is using, and soon Choice Point will have a number of Christian soldiers' fingerprints at their masters beck and call, so to speak. Can you imagine the size of the megachruch collection plates and/or the bouncers/ushers hustling them offstage? I knew you could...

Almost as much as you can envision the cross marketing potential, mob psychology experimentation potential, and counter-counter-counter intelligence potential in the situation. If you looked at the whole mega-religious insanity thing in, say, business or military terms, for instance.

Sorry. Is this tinfoil showing a bit too much?