July 15, 2005
Friday Musical Dozen: Self-Auditing Is Back!
Oh dear God.
Queue it up! Play the first twelve songs that are spit out! Rate yerself before you hate yerself!
1. X, "Blue Spark." The Captain and Tenille of post-punk LA garage rock. Well, except that Tenille (Exene Cervenka) doesn't sing in this one. OK, Sonny and Cher? 7/10.
2. Perrey-Kingsley, "Country Rock Polka." The very best of Moogified late 60s weirdness. A very close kin to their "Baroque Hoedown," which you may recognize as the theme song to Disneyworld's/Disneyland's Main Street Electrical Parade. It's kitschy, but not cool. 3/10.
3. Elgar, "Pomp and Circumstance, March #4." From the Clockwork Orange soundtrack (think Alex graduating after his re-education). I think this lies somewhere outside of the coolness spectrum. NR.
4. Blondie, "Maria." From the recent reunion album. Debbie Harry's voice has significantly lowered over the last two decades, so this has a definite Concrete Blonde vibe about it. Middle of the pack. 5/10.
5. Supergrass, "In It For The Money." One day, American youth will regret overdosing on Radiohead. Although this lyrically recalls Frank Zappa's old album, it's a great piece of 90s pop-psychedelia. 8/10. P.S. I hate you, Oasis.
6. Cibo Matto, "Spoon." A day without hearing one Cibo Matto song in rotation is like a day without sunshine, not that we'd know anything about that in Austin in summertime. Great Luscious Jackson-like groove. 8/10.
7. Supersuckers, "Givin' It Away." Pretty much like most any other Supersuckers hardcore song. If you don't know what that means, so see them live for a kick-ass hour or two. 7/10.
8. James Brown, "I Don't Want Nobody To Give Me Nothin'." Open up the door, he'll get it himself. Probably my favorite song from the Godfather of Soul, perfect backing musicians, great message, and even I can dance to it. 10/10.
9. The Zombies, "Care of Cell 44." An always underappreciated British Invasion band, probably with the best vocalist (Colin Blunstone), although the song is a little precious and Beach Boys-y. 6/10.
10. Kraftwerk, "The Robots." We're charging our battery / And now we're full of energy / We are the robots. We're functioning automatik / And we are dancing mechanik / We are the robots. Now that's lyric-writing! Judging from most uninitiated's reactions to Kraftwerk, I'd have to say that they're not necessarily cool, but they're one of my favorites. 5/10.
11. Jane's Addiction, "Ocean Size." One of the sloppier efforts from their breakthrough album, although it has a great guitar solo from Dave Navarro. 5/10.
12. The Gap Band, "Party Train." Ah-ha-ha-ha! What is it? The excessive cowbell? The train sound effects? Who knows! 2/10. Sorry.
Straight up 6/10. My Windows Media Player knows how to sabotage me right when I think I'm ridin' high.
1. The Roots, "Thought @ Work" -- 7/10
2. Dave Dudley, "Six Days on the Road" -- A hit country song about a pill-popping trucker. Awesome. 8/10
3. The Gourds, "Miss You" -- Live country version of a Stones classic, with an accordian for the intro guitar solo. I'm on a roll here. 8/10
4. Missy Elliot, "Hot (Ratatat Remix)" -- Yes, it's Missy Elliot, but a great remix. 6/10.
5. Neil Young and Crazy Horse, "Down by the River" -- Eh? 5/10.
6. Stevie Wonder, "Yester-Me, Yester-You, Yester-Day." And now the wheels come off. Not his best moment. Or song title, either. 2/10.
7. Franz Ferdinand, "Come on Home" -- I know I'm supposed to love them, but I don't, OK? I just don't. 5/10.
8. MC Chris, "Fett's Vette" -- A song about Boba Fett, performed by the guy who was MC Pee Pants on "Aqua Teen Hunger Force." Wow. I'd give it a 9, but I think I've hit this before, so I'm docking myself a point. 8/10.
9. Dinah Washington, "Long John Blues" -- A sultry jazz singer singing a dirty, dirty song. Amazing. 9/10.
10. Johnny Cash, "25 Minutes to Go" -- Waiting for his execution, and a dark ending. 7/10.
11. Mr. Van Houten, "Can I Borrow a Feeling?" -- This is what I get for downloading Simpsons' songs. so bad it's good. 6/10.
12. Drive-By Truckers, "Ronnie and Neil" -- Odd to get a song about Neil Young and a song by Neil Young in the same random dozen. All my hip friends love this band, so I'll give it a 8/10.
That makes... a 6.7.
Damn, I always do better on other people's blogs than I do on my own. Home field advantage, my ass.
Posted by: Otto Man at July 14, 2005 11:53 PMBy the way, if you've never heard the remix of James Brown's "Give It Up or Turnit a Loose," available on In the Jungle Groove, do yourself a favor and check it out.
Best. JB. Ever.
Posted by: Otto Man at July 14, 2005 11:56 PMBy the way, if you've never heard the remix of James Brown's "Give It Up or Turnit a Loose," available on In the Jungle Groove, do yourself a favor and check it out.
Best. JB. Ever.
Posted by: Otto Man at July 15, 2005 12:04 AMMy math didn't work out. I have -i in there and + and -infinity. There were some good and bad ones and also incalcuble ones like Kenny Rogers and Oasis. I think I need 10 more dimensions to calculate the coolness score. Either way, if is probably 0 in 8/11 dimensions.
Posted by: Pinko Punko at July 15, 2005 12:50 AMAlways enjoy these posts. Thought I'd send you 10 of my own. A self-audit for coolness in my case is not advisable. Still, some good stuff here ...
1. "I Talk To The Wind" King Crimson In The Court of the Crimson King Mellow; includes flute choir; fondly remembered from cannabis-saturated high-school days
2. "Consciousness" Pat Martino Consciousness Smoky, hypnotic; a little rambling; Eric Kloss composition; like it says in the liner notes of Pat Martino/Live! “Pat is a bad cat.”
3. "Ramble On Rose" Grateful Dead Steppin' Out with the Grateful Dead England '72 Great nonsense lyric and loping rhythm; better than average vocal by Jerry
4. "Virginia Avenue" Tom Waits Closing Time Bluesy, rolling tune from Tom’s debut
5. "Bye-Ya" Steve Lacy Reflections Great Monk tune; stellar soprano sax
6. "Piano Sonate No. 10, op. 70" Alexander Scriabin Scriabin: The Piano Sonatas Vladimir Ashkenazy -- piano Impenetrable; ecstatic; Ashkenazy plays the living crap out of it
7. "Desert Players" (with Jerry Garcia) Ornette Coleman And Prime Time Virgin Beauty Odd synthetic percussion, funky pseudo-Arabic sound; downright undistinguished guitar from Jerry
8. "Ludus Tonalis XXIII Interludium" Paul Hindemith Ludus Tonalis John McCabe -- piano A delicate waltz just before the final fugue of Hindemith’s contrapuntal labyrinth Ludis Tonalis; a petal floating on deep water
9. "Ruby My Dear" Thelonious Monk The Complete Blue Note Recordings Even greater Monk tune; Monk played the piano the way I imagine da Vinci would have drawn if he had been forced to use a 6-foot pen: rough and awkward, but pure invention in every line
10. "Hoe-Down" Oliver Nelson The Blues and the Abstract Truth Like the bit on Whose Line Is it Anyway: fun, hard to dislike, even if you do feel a bit irritated when it first begins
Posted by: GIP at July 15, 2005 12:52 AM1) 'Mystery Man' -- Sebadoh - Bakesale is one of my favorite albums of all time. 8/10
2) 'Bled White' -- Elliott Smith - One of the few (slight) missteps on the excellent 'XO.' Backing vocals are mixed too high. Song is a bit too derivative. Still, in my book E Smith bottoms out somewhere around 6/10.
3) 'All Caps' -- Madvillain - Cool? Sure. This song is to hip hop what contemporary brutalism is to architecture. Bare minimum of content/production/effort 7/10.
4) 'Pictures Of Me' -- Elliott Smith - You'd think that following so close after another ESmith song would hurt it. But it is simply a better song 7/10.
5) 'Ladyflash' -- The Go! Team - I guiltily like this, um, album? but this, um, band? 6/10?
6) 'City Of New Orleans' -- Willie Nelson - Good morning Willie Nelson, how are you. Don't you know me, I'm your illegitimate son. 6/10.
7) 'Some Girls Are Bigger Than Others' -- The Smiths - Thanks for the obvious song title Morrissey. 5/10.
8) 'Sub Zero Fun' -- Autolux - Probably my least fav on an album I have mixed feelings about. If I had paid 9.99 for it, I would probably be somewhat disappointed 5/10.
9) 'Hey Jealous Lover' -- Frank Sinatra - From a live album recorded in Seattle in '57! 6/10!
10) X-French Tee Shirt -- Shudder To Think - I would have given this song a 10 about 10 years ago for sure (jeeze, has it been that long?) 6/10.
11) 'Cover Me' -- Bjork - 4/10.
12) 'A.M. 180' -- Grandaddy - Can't say anything bad about Grandaddy. Great live. Great albums. This is a great song. 9/10.
average 6.25
Posted by: Seattle Slough at July 15, 2005 02:03 AMExene sings on Blue Spark. Backing vocals, but singing nonetheless.
Posted by: Jimmmmm at July 15, 2005 08:55 AMI just heard a new "solo" song by Charlie Wilson of the Gap Band. Apparently R. Kelly has taken Charlie under his wing.
Posted by: Pepper at July 15, 2005 09:14 AM• "She Watch Channel Zero," Public Enemy - Not one of the best off It Takes A Nation Of Millions, but anything from that is cooler than most everything else. (8/10)
• "Rara," Juana Molina - Despite the fact that she's a Argentinian TV star, this is fairly cool. It's good, too. (6/10)
• "Jodie Foster's Army," JFA - More bands should name songs after themselves. But not every band has such an awesome name, especially given the context (1981) in which they took the name. (John Hinkley Jr., doye). (8/10)
• "Amos and Andy Kill Whitey," Onion Radio Network - Not all that funny. Not all that cool, either. (1/10)
• "Pony Song," Edith Frost - Hmm, a quandry. I gave this a 4/10 on listening, but had to look her up on All Music Guide because I don't know how or why I've got this song. She's got quite the impressive indie-rock pedigree. But would it be "uncool" to change the rating, based on that? Ah, the hell with it: (5/10)
• "Smokin'Reefers," Cab Calloway, Blossom Dearie, etc. - Eh. Hmm. Sigh. (3/10)
• "A Picture Of 'Em All," Mando Diao - They've got some really good songs. But not this one. (4/10)
• "It Might Be You (Theme from Tootsie)," Stephen Bishop - My original notes for this read: "They don't write 'em like this anymore. Thank God." But you know what? They should write 'em like this, for movie theme songs, at least. That's a memorable song, with a nice melody and somewhat meaningful lyrics. It's not cool but, dammit, it's not that bad of a song, considering the crap that accompanies today's movies. But still. (1/10)
• "Whenever You're Ready," The Zombies - I agree with every word you wrote about The Zombies, Norbizness. This is a great song; a little tentative on the verses, but that only makes the terrific chorus shine all the more. Nice little Ray Charles-esque piano break, too. (8/10)
• "Common People," Pulp - I've heard this song hundreds of times, but chills still climbed the backs of my arms while I listened this morning. That's cool. (9/10)
• "Out There," Saigon - A serviceable ode to the street life (should that be capitalized?). I'm not terribly impressed, though. (5/10)
• "Darts of Pleasure," Franz Ferdinand - It's a bear market for these guys. Sell now. (5/10)
Bonus track: "It's The Joint," Funky Four Plus One - Sampled by the Beastie Boys on "Hey Ladies," but I won't go into whether that hurts or helps, because this song is the joint. Old school hip hop with live-band backing is really pretty unimpeachable. (8/10)
Total: 5.46
Posted by: TravisG at July 15, 2005 09:29 AM"X" is my all-time-favorite L.A. band. More Fun in the New World is as close to a punk masterpiece as you can get.
I Must Not Think Bad Thoughts
The facts we hate
We'll never meet
Walking down the road
Everybody yelling "hurry up,
Hurry up!"
But I'm waiting for you
I must go slow
I must not think bad thoughts
When is this world coming to?
Both sides are right
But both sides murder
I give up
why cant they?
I must not think bad thoughts
I must not think bad thoughts
I must not think bad thoughts
The civil wars
And the uncivilized wars
Conflagrations leap out
Of every poor furnace
The food cooks poorly
And everyone goes hungry
From then on its dog eat dog
Dog eat body & body eat dog
I cant go down there
I cant understand it
I'm a no good coward
An American too
A north american, that is,
Not a south
Nor a central
Nor a native American
Oh I must not think bad thoughts
I must not think bad thoughts
I'm guilty of murder
Of innocent men
Innocent women innocent children
Thousands of 'em
My planes my guns
My money my soldiers
My blood on my hands
It's all my fault!
I must not think bad thoughts
I must not think bad thoughts
I must not think bad thoughts
The facts we hate
You'll never hear us
(I hear the radio is finally gonna play new music. You know the British Invasion?)
But what about the Minutemen
Fleasheaters, DOA, Big Boys
And the Black Flag?
Will the last American band
To get played on the radio
Please bring the flag?
Please bring the flag!
Glitter-disco-synthesizer night school
All this noble-sounding drone, drone, drone
Astronauts go back in time
To hang out with the cave people
It's about time, it's about space
It's about some people
In the strangest place
Woody Guthrie sang about
B-e-e-t-s, not b-e-a-t-s
I must not think bad thoughts
I must not think bad thoughts
I must not think bad thoughts
The facts we hate
We'll never meet
Walking down the road
Everybody yelling "hurry up,
Hurry up!"
But I'm waiting for you
I must go slow
I must not think bad thoughts
When is this world coming to?
Both sides are right
But both sides murder
I give up
why cant they?
I must not think bad thoughts
I must not think bad thoughts
I must not think bad thoughts
-- John Doe
Posted by: urizon at July 15, 2005 09:47 AMHmmm... I have problems attempting this. First of all, I don't want to load up all my MP3s into the media player.
Second, the vast majority of my songs are lo-fi indie rock from back in the days when MP3.com had independant artists and free song downloads. On the one hand, most people have probably never heard of them, which give them some cachet, but on the other, they often have an amateurish quality, and there's a high rate of They Might Be Giants rip-offness (Although I think that Logan Whitehurst is a better They Might Be Giants then They Might Be Giants are).
Thirdly, I have absolutely no idea what cool people think of music anymore. I'm totally out of it.
I have bought some CDs recently, so let's take a look at the last five CDs I bought, starting with the earliest:
1. The Name of This Band is Talking Heads, by the Talking Heads. This is a two CD live compilation, with stuff from the late 70s and early 80s. Talking Heads are a pretty cool band to music nerds, but from what little I've heard they seem to really prefer David Byrne's solo work. Plus, on the live songs, there tends to be a lot of musical noodling before they really get into the meat of the songs. "Warning Sign" has an interminable intro that lasts more then a minute. 7/10
2. Gorillaz, by Gorillaz. These guys seem pretty popular these days, and the cartoon concept is neat, so they get good marks on the coolness scale. Also, the album has lots of genre variation, which is neat. 8/10
3. In Keeping Secrets of Silent Earth, by Coheed and Cambria. I... have no idea. Let's take a coolness iventory: This is part three of a four part emo/punk sci-fi rock opera. There's a comic tie-in. The lyrics are pretentious and incomprehensible, as the title might indicate. Nobody I know has ever heard of it. I can't quite figure out how these all tie together to form the final rating. The sound of the songs is pretty good, though, and there's some up-beat rock songs and some sort of more epic, slower-paced things. I like it. ??/10
4. Live at Budokan, by Cheap Trick. This is a live album from their Japanese tour. I bought it because I wanted to hear "I Want You to Want Me". I don't know if that's cool or lame. ??/10
5. The Second Stage Turbine Blade by Coheed and Cambria. This is the second part of the Coheed and Cambria story (The first part is going to be releasd last, to serve as a star wars style prequel). It's pretty much more of the same as the other one, but the songs are less disciplined and tend to sort of wander. I don't like it as much as Silent Earth. Two or three points lower then whatever Keeping Secrets of Silent Earth is.
So there it is. I have no idea whether I'm cool or not anymore. I'd appreciate some hearing what other people think of these albums.
Posted by: Christopher at July 15, 2005 10:11 AMThe Big Payback is the best JB song, followed closely by Superbad (Sometimes I feel so good, I wanna jump back, and kiss myself.)
Posted by: Yosef at July 15, 2005 10:38 AMNo self audit. I am fearful of the complete breakdown in any pretense of coolness that looms.
Norbizness changed to a random twelve. So, unless this turns very ugly, I'm going to match his twelve, and raise him a Bonus Three!
Rush- Alien Shore.
Jon Langford - My Own Worst Enemy.
Mekons - Johnny Miner. Langford followed by the Mekes. iTunes is quite keyed into my tastes, yes it is.
Mighty Mighty Bosstones - Illegal Left.
The Clash - Wrong 'em Boyo. The first punk record I ever bought. Changed my life. All my high school friends hated it, especially because I played it All. The Time. Like I said, it changed my life.
Beastie Boys - Remote Control.
Pop Will Eat Itself - City Zen Radio 1999/2000 FM.
Elvis Costello - Georgie and her Rival.
Jenny Toomey - Miss Otis Regrets. Oooh. A Cole Porter song about a murdering jilted lover, covered for The Executioner's Last Songs, a compilation album from Bloodshot benefitting Illinois Artists Against the Death Penalty. If I was doing the NSCA, this would break the meter. After release of this album, Illinois rescinded their death penalty because of the documented problems with reliability and the proven cases of erroneous execution of innocent people.
Moby - Machete.
XTC - Is This Pop? Yes It Is.
Weezer - Keep Fishin'. Nice try, Rivers, but the best punk rock fishing song is 'All He Wants To Do Is Fish' by the Replacements, 'cuz it's the Replacements.
Strong end. here's the bonus three:
The Plugz - La Bamba. From the Repo Man soundtrack.
Pavement - Fame Throwa
Peter Gabriel - Mother of Violence. Old school Pete. 'Fear. Fear is the Mother of Violence.' A wonderfully appropriate end to the FRT, and the week.
Kraftwerk, I'm sorry, is so cool. Afrika Bambaataa likes them and so do I.
Posted by: Amanda at July 15, 2005 11:21 AMJodie Foster's Army. Outstanding. I haven't heard them in forever. They did a lovely version of the Charlie Brown theme, if I'm remembering right.
Posted by: Otto Man at July 15, 2005 11:31 AMGive the wheel a spin. Come on big money.
Song, Artist, Album.
1. Japanese Cowboy, Ween, Cowboy Songs.
2. All the Nations Airports, Archers of Loaf, All the Nations Airports.
3. When I win the Lottery, Camper Van Beethoven, Key Lime Pie.
4. Amazing Journey, The Who, Tommy.
5. Disappear, Crooked Fingers, Red Devid Dawn.
6. Angry Johnny, Poe, Hello
7. Explode, Frente!, Marvin the Album
8. Serve the Servants, Nirvana, In Utero
9. Steel and Glass, John Lennon, Lennon Disc 3
10. Shake Some Action, Cracker, Clueless Soundtrack
11. Get off the Bandwagon, EPMD, Strictly Business
12. Waiting for the Sun, Jayhawks, Hollywood Town Hall.
Could you be any more obvious, Kop? How about track one side from Mozart's fifth symphany?
Posted by: Kop at July 15, 2005 02:55 PMI am more curious as to the method of the scoring. Often I find myself subbing a "goodness" meter rather than a "coolness" one.
My new strategy will be to imagine that my random 12 is the 'tween set break music at Seattle's Crocodile Café when it is filled with hard core scenesters.
Does anyone have any similar cool-test scenarios they have used with any success? And on a side note; why do I get the feeling that in our internet world, (what with being able to amass a collection of 'rare' b-sides of obscure German ambient trance groups without having to put on pants) there is simply nothing cool about being a music geek anymore?
I mean, how cool does one have to be to go to Pitchfork and click "purchase"?
Posted by: Seattle Slough at July 15, 2005 05:27 PMI worked at a hipster, free-form radio station in college, and I just imagine my fellow jocks -- essentially the employees at Championship Records, Jack Black and Not Jack Black -- rating the songs. High points for obscurity, low points for danceability.
Posted by: Otto Man at July 15, 2005 11:32 PM