Happy Furry Puppy Story Time with Norbizness

Just Read The Category Title At The Bottom

I'm sorry, but studies show that when you centralize all of the lampooning into one national organization, there will be over time a inevitable decline in quality due to a lack of lampooning competitors.

From the Weekly Recap:

-- Kevin Costner and Ashton Kutcher are teaming up for THE GUARDIAN, an action-drama. The story centers on a rebellious young man who enlists in the Coast Guard where he forms a mentor-friendship with a legendary rescue swimmer who lost his crew in a fatal crash. Andrew Davis (THE FUGITIVE) is directing. Actually, I can't improve on a comment left at AICN: "Is there a scene where Kutcher gets swarmed by over-eager fans, so Costner picks him up and carries him in his arms to safety?"

-- Former adult star Jasmin St. Claire, model Vida Guerra, Charles Shaughnessy, Larry Drake and Richard Riehle have signed on to NATIONAL LAMPOON PRESENTS DORM DAZE II, now lensing on the Queen Mary. Returning from the original DORM DAZE are Danielle Fishel, Chris Owen, James DeBello, Marieh Delfino and Tony Denman as well as helmers David and Scott Hillenbrand. I know it gets complicated, but DAMMIT people, this is important! I am taking a month off to get a Dorm Daze scorecard together so that you can follow the twists and turns of the characters.

-- Dean Cain and Burt Young have completed voicework for indie toon FIREDOG. Pic, about a dog with a fear of fire, also boasts the voices of Lauren Bacall, Tom Arnold, Tony Danza, Beverly D'Angelo, Michael Madsen and the late Frank Gorshin. It's a good thing this is an animated feature, because I don't know if I could deal with a live-action film starring this cast.

-- Mike Epps has been tapped to play Richard Pryor in a feature film on the comedian's life. Walter Hill will direct, and Caleb Kane will pen the script. Pryor and his wife, Jennifer Lee Pryor, are producing. Well, we'll certainly see if he has the chops by checking out his star-making performance as Black Ed Norton in The Honeymooners, a movie with the tagline "Why The Fuck Was This Made? Nobody Knows! In Theatres Memorial Day!"

-- Kelsey Grammer will play Beast in X-MEN 3 for 20th Century Fox, Marvel Entertainment and director Matthew Vaughn. Vinnie Jones is set for the bad-guy role of Juggernaut. Rumor has it that he's gaining 300 pounds of muscle and turning blue for this role of a lifetime. I can't wait till he flips the Beastmobile after doing 20 shots of Hennessy.

-- David Cronenberg's next pic is PAINKILLERS, a futuristic story about a detective who is sent undercover to save humanity in a world where surgery is sex and pain is pleasure. This doesn't sound like the sweet little Davey Cronenberg I knew growing up in Toronto!

-- Warren Beatty has plans for a second DICK TRACY film but is seeking a ruling that he still owns the film and other rights. How about a ruling that he was 15 years old for the first one 15 years ago?

-- Jim Henson Co. is planning to make a sequel to its 1982 fantasy classic THE DARK CRYSTAL, titled THE POWER OF THE DARK CRYSTAL. The film will combine live-action animatronic characters with CG animation to represent their world. The story is set many years after the first film. Original heroes Jen and Kira are now king and queen, and must fight to save their kingdom when the crystal is once again split. Drip drip drop, there goes a nerdgasm.

Posted by Norbizness at May 25, 2005 12:24 AM