Happy Furry Puppy Story Time with Norbizness

"Blazing Saddles" over "Some Like It Hot"?

I'm ashamed to be an American.

("Oswald, I'm a man." "Nobody's perfect.")

YES, WE'RE ALL INDIVIDUALS!

Where de white wimmen at?

Well, I, uh, don't think it's quite fair to condemn a whole program because of a single slip-up, sir.

Watch out for your goodies, Hawkeye

Gentlemen, Chicolini here may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

Surely you can't be serious?
I am serious... and don't call me Shirley.

I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year for cheating on my metaphysics final, you know. I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

Edwina's insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase.

I'm not oppressing you, Stan, You haven't got a womb! Where's the fetus going to gestate?! You going to keep it in a box?!

Well, that covers a lot of ground. Say! You cover a lot of ground yourself. You'd better beat it. I hear they're gonna tear you down and put up an office building where you're standing.

Of course I like to speak to you. Of course I like to say hello. Not now, but any time, Dmitri. I'm just calling up to tell you something... terrible has happened.

I don't want to live in a city where the only cultural advantage is that you can make a right turn on a red light.

Nietzsche says out of chaos comes order.
Blow it out your ass Howard.

You're my guest-what you like to do?
Screw ... play chess.
Let's play chess.

I didn't get a hurumph out of that man.
Give the governor a hurumph.

Mrs. Teasdale: Your Excellency, the Ambassador's here on a friendly visit. He's had a change of heart.
Firefly: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.
Trentino: I'm sorry we lost our tempers. I'm willing to forget if you are.
Firefly: Forget? You ask me to forget? A Firefly never forgets! Why, my ancestors would rise from their graves, and I'd only have to bury them again. Nothing doing. I'm going back and clean the crackers out of my bed -- I'm expecting company.

What the heck is going on down in Bracket 4? Frankly, I was surprised that either film made it into the tourney at all. At best, Annie Hall could be said to be 'charming' or maybe 'cute', but apart from the lobster scene was there any humor at all? And what makes Arizona stand out from a hundred other 'edgy' comedies?

Please enlighten me. I just don't get it and would like to join the fun.

I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.

General Turgidson, I find this very difficult to understand. I was under the impression that I was the only one in authority to order the use of nuclear weapons.
That's right, sir, you are the only person authorized to do so. And although I, uh, hate to judge before all the facts are in, it's beginning to look like, uh, General Ripper exceeded his authority.

You're talking about mass murder, General, not war!
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed. But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops. Uh, depending on the breaks.

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.

Charles: You're about 4 rounds too late to be bringin' this up now.

As for Annie Hall: how about the little kids describing their future? Marshall McLuhan and the bag full of manure? Christopher Walken?

On second thought, forget it. No fun-joining for you! Six months!

Can't help with the enlightenment, Charles, nor is Annie Hall the place I'd choose to defend, but stand the argument on its head: are all the "best" comedies one guffaw after another?

I like the understated humor of the Annie Hall coke scene, but Raising Arizona is funnier.

"How shall we fuck off, O Lord"

"I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids."

"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines."

"Cops won't find your boy. A cop couldn't find his butt if it had a bell on it."

This is what happens when you pick the wrong Woody Allen movie, people. You picked the "better" movie over the funnier ones (even if you didn't like my choice, Love and Death, there's still Sleeper, Take the Money and Run, Bananas, etc...), and now one of the greatest American comedians of the 20th Century is losing to Nick Cage.

Though, to defend "Raising Arizona," which I love as well -- what the hell is "edgy" about it? I don't really get that criticism... the humor is so old-fashioned it's practically Li'l Abner. I mean, it's dialect and slapstick (like, say, those edgy Marx Brothers who I'm predicting a very strong second half from).

As for there not being any humor at all in Annie Hall... have you seen either of these movies?

Alvy: My 'grammy' never gave gifts. She was too busy getting raped by Cossacks.

Yes, very charming and cute.

(FWIW, it's easy to misremember Annie Hall as a precursor to the Billy Crystal/Meg Ryan school of contemporary romantic comedies, but's it's really quite dark and neurotic, in a genuine, uncute way. Annie: "Alvy, you're incapable of enjoying life, you know that? I mean you're like New York City. You're just this person. You're like this island unto yourself.")

What makes Arizona better than a hundred edgy comedies? Well, superior writing for a start, pants-soiling performances and 8 or 9 artists at their absolute peak. Barry Sonnenfeld's cinematography, Holly Hunter etc. etc.

"Chairs you got a dinette set. No chairs, you got dick!"

"Don't give me that white zone shit! I know what this is about. You want me to have an abortion"

"That's enough of that shit. Mongo's back"

"I'm payin' you people to get some track laid, not jump around like a bunch a' Kansas City f*ggots".

Alex is right. Love and Death is a better Allen film, maybe his best.

Love and Death is easily my favorite Allen film. I don't like Annie Hall all that much, but that could be because I've only seen it once, at 3 am, when I was locked out of my bedroom because my roomate was breaking up with her boyfriend.

"Are we awake?"
"That depends, are we black?"
"Yes we are"
"Then we're awake, but very confused"

"All those who don't want to be cruxifed here, hands up."

"Okay. I'm gonna get your money for ya. But if you don't get the President of the United States on that phone, you know what's gonna happen to you?"
"What?"
"You're gonna have to answer to the Coca-Cola company."

In a very peculiar way, I'm now proud to say that I was one of the few to see "Disorderlies" in the theater.

Matinee-priced show, of course. I'm not crazy.

yes, but "disorderlies" was the fat boys finest hour, much like House Party was Kid'n plays

What the fuck is hegemony?

That's money for "...a shrubbery."

Sorry.

Couldn't help myself.

"There's a problem in the cockpit."
"The cockpit! What is it?"
"It's the little room where they fly the plane, but that's not important right now."

"What do you make out of this?"
"Let's see, i can make a hat, or a boat..."

and of course:
"Jive ass fool don't want no help, jive ass fool don't get no help."

"I... I don't know exactly how to put this, sir, but are you aware of what a serious breach of security that would be? I mean, he'll see everything, he'll... he'll see the Big Board!"

"What do you make out of this?"
"Let's see, i can make a hat, or a boat..."

. . . or a pterodactyl!

"First Jive Dude: Shit man, that honky mus' be messin' my old lady... got to be runnin' cold upside down his head. You know?
Second Jive Dude: Hey home, I can dig it. You know he ain't gonna lay no mo' big rap up on you man.
First Jive Dude: I say hey sky, s'other s'ay I wan say?
Second Jive Dude: UH...
First Jive Dude: Pray to J I get the same ol' same ol'.
Second Jive Dude: Eh. Yo knock yourself a pro slick, gray matter live performas down now take TCB'in man.
First Jive Dude: Hey, you know what they say... See a broad, to get that booty yak 'em.
First Jive Dude, Second Jive Dude: Leg 'er down 'n smack 'em yak 'em
First Jive Dude: Cold got to be. You know? Shiiiiit. "

"Joey, do you like movies about gladiators? "

Waco Kid: "You've got to remember, that these are just simple farmers, these are people of the land, the common clay of the New West. You know . . . morons."

Taggart: "I know how we can run everyone out of Rock Ridge."
Hedley Lamarr: "How?"
Taggart: "We'll kill the first born male child in every household."
Hedley Lamarr: "Hmmm.... No. Too Jewish."

Hedley Lamarr: "Be ready to attack Rock Ridge at noon tomorrow. Here's your badge."
Mexican Bandit: "Badges? We don't need no stinking badges!"

Charlie: "They said you was hung."
Bart: "And they was right."

Bart to Klansmen: "Hey, where the white women at?"

Hedley Lamarr: "My mind is aglow with whirling, transient nodes of thought careening through a cosmic vapor of invention."
Taggart: "Ditto."
Hedley Lamarr: "'Ditto'? 'Ditto,' you provincial putz?"

"I'll be taking these here Huggies, and whatever cash you got."

"Son, you got a panty on your head."

"Do they blow up into funny shapes and all?"
"Not unless you think round's funny."

Fuck Woody Allen. He's vastly overrated, and not funny at all. Except for "Take the Money and Run."

Now, with that out of the way.

"Judean People's Front?! Bloody splitters! We're the People's Front of Judea!"

"Thwow him to the fwow...stwike him, Centuwion!"

"Looks like I picked a bad week to quit drinking."

"Mongo LOVE candy!"

Thanks folks. I'm still not convinced about Annie Hall, but I'll give Raising Arizona another chance. I did like it, but just never saw it as final 4 material. I will say Woody comes up with a few good gags for his films, but again not enough to merit this ranking. Can't see any replay value there.