April 06, 2005
Invest In Wooden Stake Futures
He wakes to feed on PAC contributions!
You're going to try the death by a thousand cuts technique on Tom DeLay? Are you crazy? His political career will be harder to kill than...
(a) a thousand cockroaches with titanium-enhanced exoskeletons;
(b) the resurrected cult leader and black magician in Lord of Illusions (played by "Hey! it's that guy!" Hall-of-Famer Daniel Von Bergen);
(c) Keith Richards after he's had a liquid heroin and virgin goat blood cocktail;
(d) Rasputin, if all you were armed with was a drinking straw,
(e) Steven Seagal in the movie Hard to Kill (with once and future ex-wife Kelly LeBrock); or, in the alternative, the practice of showing Steven Seagal movies on the USA network.
You can come up with (f) if you want. While the "pushed in front of a bus by your former cronies" is being played out on the front page of the Washington Post and in the grand jury rooms here in Travis County, we always need a Plan B. Put down the glossy photos from Tijuana... I'm talking about voting the little worm out of office.
The primary candidate is Richard Morrison, who gave DeLay a run for the money in 2004 in a heavily Republican district (suburban south and southwest Houston). Coincidentally, he was interviewed by a group of progressive Texas bloggers yesterday (this had actually been planned for weeks, more links here). It's going to take a lot of work and organization over the next 18 months, and this comment thread started by Amanda at Pandagon is a good start for acquainting oneself with the difficulties. In addition, Charles at Off the Kuff is always on top of new DeLay-related developments.
I don't care who replaces him, frankly. Removal is in and of itself a public good. Plus, I'm fairly confident that outside of Sam Neill in The Final Conflict, it will be an improvement.
Harder to kill than the case of super-mega-hyper herpes that Lindsay Lohan's contracted by jumping from Colin Farrell to Bruce Willis to Christian Slater.
Posted by: drew at April 6, 2005 11:01 AMharder to kill than scarface?
Posted by: paperpusher at April 6, 2005 12:14 PMHarder to kill than Captain Scarlet!
(A really dumb UK puppet show where the main character's power was that he was impossible to kill and every episode he'd get "killed" and then remind everyone that he was impossible to kill.)
Posted by: salvage at April 6, 2005 01:23 PMHarder to kill than the T-1000 on a vitamin, 10w-30 and Red Bull high . . .
Posted by: Vestal Vespa at April 6, 2005 01:26 PM
. . . or harder to kill than Kenny.
Posted by: Vestal Vespa at April 6, 2005 01:27 PMHarder to kill than OU? Seems pretty effin hard.
Posted by: Kriston at April 6, 2005 02:12 PMHarder to kill than a pubic crab that's been feeding off of Courtney Love's bacon strip?
And let's hope so. I'd rather like DeLay to be around when the Repubs are trying to hold on in 2006...
Posted by: teh l4m3 at April 6, 2005 03:04 PMDeLay is my congressman and frankly Sam Neill via The Final Conflict or Hunt for Red October or reading the phone book on a bare stage with a naked light bulb on a black extention cord would be much, much, much better.
Posted by: jaye at April 6, 2005 08:43 PMthere's a painting of tom delay's career in his basement that gets uglier and more horrid as the years go by, while the career the rest of the world sees is strapping and handsome, like a young steve largent's.
Posted by: dexter at April 6, 2005 08:48 PMThe Hammer will start to worry when Colin Powell shows up with a powerpoint presentation on his scumbag-related program activities...
Posted by: knuckledragger at April 6, 2005 08:53 PMthere's a painting of tom delay's career in his basement that gets uglier and more horrid as the years go by, while the career the rest of the world sees is strapping and handsome, like a young steve largent's.
Well played, Dex.
How about harder to kill than Freddy AND Jason?
Posted by: Vestal Vespa at April 6, 2005 09:11 PMHarder to kill than a Toyota.
Posted by: Brent at April 8, 2005 03:24 PM