Happy Furry Puppy Story Time with Norbizness

Jebus, these people so need a nap.

Do I get banned if I practice-caption with "Frist!"?

While human protesters called for Bush's intervention in the Schiavo case, animals -- including a tabby cat and various insects -- were eager to express their views on end-of-life issues to Bill Frist and Tom DeLay.

I guess they got their wires crossed! heh heh, you see, the cross is...and the....yeah.

"Survey says!"

Man, that Jeff Gannon can sure land on his feet.

"But the seventeen oil wells and pumping station were originally mine, Judge al-Wapner!"

"Yeah, hey people, forget the feeding tube and do something about this goddamn leash, m'kay?"

WARNING: do not attempt to cuddle Mr. Bull Elephant Seal.

(BY DECRIMINALIZING MARIJUANA)

"Thank you for flying United Airlines -- and I just love your trumpet playing, Mr. Davis."

I'm uncertain whether to hand over my wallet or to demand oral and waffles for breakfast.

At the rally, Spike the cat knew that if the protesters won, he and other furry animals like him would become dinner for an overpopulated planet.

#5 God, in an attempt to convince Schiavo protesters of the error of their ways, just missed with his first attempt to smite their cat with a large, unnaturally round boulder. So much for omnipotency.

"I know how to convince everyone I'm not some fundamentalist wackjob that lives alone, I'll bring the one person who has stronger feelings on the issue than me. Isn't that right Mr. Whiskers?"

At press time it was unclear whether Emme had actually joined the hunger strikers or was just being finicky.

"and the lord said unto karfelham of schickelorrah, 'lo, do not removeth the tube which feedeth thou; and if thou belong to tribe which removeth those tubes that feedeth, i say unto you that you will enter a time of trials, and thou shall see large round thingys of stone and mortar, and those large round thingys of stone and mortar shall be accompanied by cats on leashes, and who walks their friggin' cat for cryin' out loud, amen."

You've obviously tapped into Hugh Hewit's missing "cat blogging" archive.

Warning: caption of local interest only

Hardly. I think they have them in every college town- we have plenty of the "Keep Boulder Weird" types driving their Priuses around here . . . although by "Weird" I don't think they ever meant Ward Churchill, Jon Benet, recruiting scandal weird but rather, oh, golly, we have a bunch of those stores that sell incense and stickers that say "question reality!" weird.

#4 Vegetarian cats support Terri's right to die.

1. James, come ON! What are the odds you are going to get struck by lightening again?

2. The next person who calls it a private account is gonna git my fist in their ass! Yes, Jeff?

3. Hey, Baldy. Take my advice- do NOT go in that bathroom.

4. Zat eez not my dog.

5. The cat is a staunch death-with-dignity supporter, and will seek his vengeance by laying out a hairy puke on his owner's posters later.

6. This picture was taken just before the blood-smeared seal closed all the doors in the gymnasium and burnt it to the ground with its mind.

7. A similar campaign didn't go over as well in Colorado Springs, where the billboards read "Keep the Springs a Hotbed of Military Sexual Abuse and Evangelical Hubris"

8. Um . . . sir, you are sitting on one of my epaulets.

9. Just make sure you keep the invoice for your mail-order bride.

Newly recruited protesteors were not amused when they found out the truth about the big balls and pussy they were promised.

Ah, Yosef. There's the bad taste I was hoping for. Excellent. Love it!

"The thirteen year old cat, holding the reborn Terri Schiavo, widened its eyes and looked horrified at the demonstrator in front of her. She decided not to scratch Randall until she had a good paw-load of excrement; and with her decision made, she settled back once more."

CAT: "If you'd just coughed out a hairball of that size, you'd be wild eyed too."

5. "Melody Ludwig (L) of Sarasota holds the leash to her cat Emme, waiting for Dr. Frist to arrive and take the animal into adoption. They were joined by supporters of Terri Schivavo, who'd protested in front of the Pinellas County Justice Center to have Terri Schiavo's feeding tube replaced, who were also eager to meet with, and be adopted by, the Senator."