Happy Furry Puppy Story Time with Norbizness

Communitarian Inauguration Nausea Party 2-Night!

Today will be a day of avoiding the horror of 1460 additional days of this half-witted sociopath and his band of incompetent millenarian lunatic greedheads via the time-honored tradition of humorous links and captions, captions, cock rings.. I mean captions. Check back throughout the day for new pictures and links in the extended entry. Also, feel free to drop your own caption attempts in the comments, or e-mail me to point out additional inauguration takes and/or silly pictures that need skewering:

Quick, men! Our country is under attack! All those months of training on old Missile Command arcade games will finally pay off! To the rollerballs!

Sorry, old chum. For the next four years, I will promise to remember to use more vaseline and/or coated gloves when sticking my hand in your back and operating you like a big meat puppet.

You can bundle up all you want, we've still got all of your retinal scans in the database in case any of you motherfuckers tries looking directly at the President.

The finishing touches on the Presidential "Blizzard of Corporate Dollars" booth are put into place (You know, one of these things).

Bevo, you fucking sellout! Like this is going to prevent them from turning you into brisket when a younger, comelier longhorn arrives on the scene.

I'm sorry to tell you, Mr. Secretary. This isn't 1947, you're not a detective with the LAPD, and you're not here to ask me a few questions. Nurse! NURSE!!!

And the Bible didn't spontaneously combust? [Two ways this caption can be taken: as an indication that Cheney is actually swearing on an Anton LeVey limited edition Satanic Bible, or that Jerry Falwell's prediction concerning the administration of a Biblical oath by a lesbian was wildly off the mark. Aren't captions more fun when dissected to death?]

[links moved to the extended entry...]

** Kilgore at Chaotic, Not Random offers a preview of the Unrated Director's Cut of the next four years. Ruth Bader Ginsburg Gone Wild!

** Mr. Sun (via the folks at Hit and Run) presents a mad-libs inauguration speech. Bizarro Robin Hood am taking peasant money!

** Roxanne at Rox Populi has her own historical caption contest, as well as a conversion chart concerning the inauguration expenses. Nearly 10 million venti lattes? Are those like Italian hamsters or something?

** OK, it isn't humorous at all, but Steve Gilliard definitely says what's on most of our minds.

** You just knew that Tom Burka at Opinions You Should Have was going to drop some knowledge.

** Ian at Wrapped Up Like a Douche intensely studied the inauguration speech transcript to come up with a bewildering set of Bushisms.

Posted by Norbizness at January 20, 2005 12:45 AM