September 10, 2004
Re-Election Slogan: The Finals
FINAL UPDATE: We have a non-Onion winner, courtesy of Scorpio at Eccentricity: "Go ahead and vote if it will make you feel better." As soon as I can get it on a banner, it'll go up somewhere in the right-hand column. Congratulations to all the people who submitted slogans, you're all winners once a high level of abstraction is reached.
Wonder which one is better at poker...
Thanks to Charles for pointing me to a free polling service.... so here it is. Go nuts! Advertise it on your site! Better yet, get your acquaintances with vastly more popular sites to notice! Just think: you have five to ten times as many real choices as you will in the voting booth in November!
[UPDATE: OK, you now have until Friday noon CST to finish up voting, and then a winner will be called. Currently, the Onion headline from 2001 is in the lead, but may be disqualified if I am sued. Let's face it, I can't afford another meritorious lawsuit against me; there were 5 at last count: the United Council of Churches, that guy I hit with an egg propelled by a medical-tubing slingshot, 2500 ranchers from Montana, Andrew McCarthy, and a potential class action involving people who enjoy Adam Sandler movies.
Is not the last one ("Our Long National Nightmare of Peace and Prosperity Is Finally Over") an actual ONION headline?
Posted by: CheezeBoy at September 9, 2004 06:26 AMCheeze: Yes it was (from January 2001, no less), and it was attributed in the semi-finals. Judging from the early results, we may have to have two separate winners (professional and amateur).
Posted by: norbizness at September 9, 2004 08:16 AMGroovy....gets my vote then!
(from 2001 eh?....seems like yesterday)
first, i want to thank my cat, with whom all things are possible.
i want to honorably concede the loss of my own slogan in this contest to scorpio. i especially want to thank norbizness, and the rest of the posters and vistors to this site.
now, let me say to my supporters: we should all turn to the business at hand, and that's making america great again and totally fucking with the bush relection effort with our funny little fake slogans.
thank you, and god bless these great united states of america.
What? No lawsuit from that ESPN guy?
How many times can you call a guy a "doughy pantload" before he decides enough is enough?
Posted by: QuakerinaBasement at September 10, 2004 11:28 PMWoo! Thanks to all of you, and especially to that Happy Furry Puppy site.
Keep at it, Norbizness -- The Busier the Blog, the more numerous the lawsuits!
Scorpio
Eccentricity
Whatever happened to the old faves --
"Don't vote; it only encourages them."
"It's too late to work within the system and too early to lock and load and kiss your family goodbye."
In the spirit of America's immediate future resting entirely in the hands of other countries, many of whom regard Soros and Buffett as being rich in C.S.A. fiat money, I offer these slogans too late to do me or anyone else any good. Mazel tov!
Posted by: Mike D. at September 11, 2004 10:29 PMWhat? No lawsuit from that ESPN guy? How many times can you call a guy a "doughy pantload" before he decides enough is enough?
The truth is an absolute defense against charges of libel.