September 02, 2004

Semi-Finals: Bush-Cheney 2004 Slogan

We're like.. angry at numbers.

Vote early and often, and suggest your own for wild-card inclusion into the finals, to be held next week. As I haven't been watching the convention, I'm not aware of developing campaign paradigms... in fact, many of them were written before the Democratic candidate was finalized.

We'll try to get it down to four or five finalists. The semi-finalists (those without attribution are mine) are "Bush-Cheney 2004:"

(1) "In Your Heart, You Know They're Insane" (Andante at Collective Sigh)
(2) "Don't Change Horses' Asses Midstream" (Pete at Drug War Rant)
(3) "Just Wait Until We Don't Have To Worry About Re-election" (Capital P)
(4) "$54.40 a Barrel or Fight!" (Mike at 18 Minute Gap)
(5) "In Your Heart, You Know It Doesn't Matter" (also Mike)
(6) "We Have a Secret Plan To Win The War" (NTodd at Dohiyi Mir)
(7) "Rich Whiteys For a Better Rich Whitey Tomorrow!" (HWNMNBSOL)
(8) "Sacrifice is For Chump-Ass Bitches!"
(9) "What's the Difference?"
(10) "It Was Like That When I Got Here!"
(11) "Damn it Feels Good to be a Gangsta" (Farfetched by way of Office Space)
(12) "Sure, Everything Looks Bad If You Remember It" (Michael at Reading A1)
(13) "Ever Since We Took Office, Well.. Things Have Been Really, Really Bad (cut!)" (Will Ferrell)
(14) "Are You Better Off Now Than You Were 4 Years Ago? Really? How'd That Happen?"
(15) "Our Long National Nightmare of Peace and Prosperity Is Finally Over" (The Onion, 1/18/01)
(16) "Why Bother? The Rapture's A-Comin'!"

Numbers 17 through ?? are up to you, my half-drunk readership.




Posted by Norbizness at September 2, 2004 12:41 AM
Comments

Gotta go with the Onion.

Posted by: roxanne at September 2, 2004 10:59 AM

In the spirit of the photo, might I suggest:

"Are you threatening us? We need TP! TP for our bungholes!"

Posted by: jpb at September 2, 2004 11:07 AM

"If We Lose, You Just Wait and See What Sort of Lunatics We Nominate in 2008"

or

"Bush-Cheney: It's The Best We Have To Offer"

or

"Bush-Cheney: The Party of Lincoln; The Ethics of Nixon; The Intelligence of Reagan"

Posted by: Eugene Oregon at September 2, 2004 11:42 AM

Don't fuckin' bother. We OWN the voting machines.

Posted by: roxanne at September 2, 2004 11:44 AM

seen last year -

"Don't change horsemen in the middle of an apocalypse."

Posted by: paperpusher at September 2, 2004 12:13 PM

bush/cheney '04: because surrealism isn't free.

Posted by: dexter at September 2, 2004 01:03 PM

Listen, pal, there's no halfway about our drunkenness.

Bush-Cheney 2004: Mishun...Mision....Mich...We Done Good

Bush-Cheney 2004: Electronic Voting Boogaloo

Bush-Cheney 2004: Death to the Infidels

Bush-Cheney 2004: They Fight Crime!

Posted by: HWRNMNBSOL at September 2, 2004 02:31 PM

"If you win, we will put the Special Prosecutor back faster than you can say 'recount'."

Scorpio
Eccentricity

Posted by: Scorpio at September 2, 2004 02:43 PM

Bush-Cheney: Go Fuck Yourselves!
Huh-huh, he said fuck.

Posted by: Jaye at September 2, 2004 03:00 PM

"Now with twice the faith and half the tolerance!"

Posted by: Kilgore Trout at September 2, 2004 04:04 PM

B/C:04- We Can Do This The Easy Way, Or We Can Do This The Hard Way...

Posted by: Lemon Merengue at September 2, 2004 06:12 PM

Bush-Cheney 2004: Mission Miscalculated!

Posted by: spot at September 2, 2004 09:28 PM

My slogan should have been
Bush-Cheney: Mission Miscalculated! We'll do better in Iran/Syria/North Korea.

Posted by: spot at September 3, 2004 12:49 AM

Bush/Cheney04 - "May I have another, sir?"

Posted by: andante at September 3, 2004 09:04 AM

I return to my classic
"Bush/Cheney 04:Democrats are vAngry for Fuck's Sake"
or "Bush Cheney O4: Cash moves everything around me, cream get the money, Dollar dollar bill Y'all"

Posted by: olexicon at September 3, 2004 01:30 PM

Only because this is looking like it might turn into another one of those classic "let's honkify classic rap lyrics to the point of unrecognizability:

Bush/Cheney/Halliburton/Enron/Carlyle et. al 2004: It Ain't No Fun if the Homies Can't Get None

Posted by: casey at September 3, 2004 02:13 PM

BC/04 "Go ahead and vote if it will make you feel better."

Scorpio

Eccentricity

Posted by: Scorpio at September 5, 2004 07:28 PM

B/C 04:a wholely owned subsidary of Haliburton and the Carlyle group

Posted by: olexicon at September 6, 2004 02:26 PM

B/C O4: "We're gonna keep fighting Vietnam until we get it right"-pilfered from an ancient Cheby Chase weekend update

Posted by: olexicon at September 6, 2004 06:31 PM

Bush/Cheney04 - Equal Opportunity Invaders

Posted by: andante at September 6, 2004 09:26 PM

"Don't Change Horsemen in the Middle of an Apocalypse"

And with pictures of our favorite horsemen, Bush, Cheney, Rumsfield and Ashcroft...

I have this bumper sticker on my car, the best one yet, I think - and available here - http://www.cafepress.com/bettybowers/268696

It gets many a thumbs-up - and since bush is likely to still be here, it is still a great statement...

Posted by: Paula at November 3, 2004 12:49 AM

I vote for (7) "Rich Whiteys For a Better Rich Whitey Tomorrow!" (HWNMNBSOL)

Partly because I know the writer, and he is a mad genius without measure... one of these days he will be discovered, and beware world!!!!

Posted by: Paula at November 3, 2004 12:58 AM