August 30, 2004
Life's Little Ironies
(photo courtesy of the Church of Latter Day Shrieking Bigots)
Today's moment of Republican convention sunshine, lollipops and inclusivity is brought to you courtesy of today's severely unhinged invocation speaker, Mormon counselor-- she can't be a priest, after all-- Sheri Dew (link thanks to Atrios):
On seeing a picture of girls raised by two gay men: What kind of chance do those girls have being raised in that kind of setting? What will their understanding of men and women, marriage and families be? Is there any chance that, as adults, they could expect to marry and enjoy a healthy relationship with a man, including rearing children together?
On herself: I just turned 50 years old, and I have never married. That was not my intention, and it has not been my choice. When someone asks me why I have never married, the simple and truthful answer is that nobody has ever asked me.
You may be tempted to feel sorry for her (but don't say "Well, I'll marry her"... that in itself is an ironclad, unbreakable promise in Utah and Idaho), but the personal disclosure was right after she compared the rise of civil unions to the rise of Hitler. Not because they want to put breeders in concentration camps, of course... it's just a silly analogy. Don't take it so seriously! It could have been the rise of George Lopez for all she cares!
Maybe I'm just dense, but can somebody remind me again why there exists the curious creature known as a Log Cabin Republican? Someone once compared it to "Chickens for Colonel Sanders," but it sounds more to me like "Civil Rights Activists for Bull Conner," "Seals for Seal-Clubbers," or "Mormons for Politically Active Evangelical End-Time Christians Who Think That Mormons Are a Dangerous Cult."
Republican Party : Log Cabin Republicans :: the American family : Sheri Dew, lifelong bitter old maid and Nurse Ratched lookalike
Posted by: HWRNMNBSOL at August 30, 2004 12:59 PMIt's really creepy that we both posted about the same subject at the exact same time.
Posted by: roxanne at August 30, 2004 01:46 PMSorry, I'm still hung up on "Let's send the cripple! You know, the cripple, the one they clotheslined about his patriotism! Obviously Dubya's gonna turn away anyone we send, so -- yes, I'm serious! Yes, I am! Well, I just can't go myself, I don't have to explain myself to you.
"Shame? Hell yes, I have shame. No? How hard would it be for me to make a two minute speech about Swift Boats and end every sentence with 'while I was serving in Vietnam' or 'in Vietnam, where I volunteered for combat duty'? If I was serious about punching Dubya in the nuts over this totally irrelevant thirty-year-old war, how many seconds would it take for me to decide to call a press conference and give that speech? I'm mortally ashamed, God knows why.
"I'm really serious about sending the cripple, though. He's gung ho. Hey, fuck you, you're fired. Hank? Hank, you're promoted. Get the cripple's people on the phone, let's roll."
Meanwhile, a Mormon expresses disapproval about "marriage" that doesn't result in eight Mormon kids evenly spaced eleven months apart. Can I stand the horrifying shock? My world is in pieces here. Somebody hold me, I think I need to cry it out.
Posted by: Mike D. at August 30, 2004 02:04 PMSo... that's what a 50-year-old virgin looks like.
Posted by: Kilgore Trout at August 30, 2004 02:38 PMSo... that's what a 50-year-old virgin looks like.
oh, easy for you to say NOW....
Posted by: patrick at August 30, 2004 02:47 PMShe better be careful, because Mormons are a cult, not true Christians. Just ask any of those Bible-thumping evangelicals. 50 and not married? She's obviously a closeted dyke. In Germany in 1935, it was thought that if you were not a practicing Jew, or only half-Jewish, or rich, they wouldn't come for you. Frankly, if I were a closeted Lesbian Mormon, I'd be a little nervous. And Mary Cheney shouldn't think her rich daddy's going to keep her out of the camps,either.
Posted by: Houston at August 31, 2004 01:17 PM