August 26, 2004

Shit's Bein' Run Worse Than an East Side Gatti-Town

mothra.jpg Don't worry, the relevance of this picture will become clear.

As strange as it sounds, the numerous worldwide prison scandals (first noted here) involving contractors, troops, intelligence officers, mercenaries, soldiers of fortune, irregulars, and Hessians haven't been totally swept under the rug yet. This is naturally frustrating, because it prevents the blogosphere from moving on with its life and fully investigate the on-again, off-again Kirsten Dunst-Jake Gyllenhaal romance.

For starters, it seems that the mind-bending "seven bad apples" theory never really took off, so much as it burst into flames on the launching pad after a good vaporizing heat blast from Mothra, assuming he has that sort of power. Two reports released this week indicate that it's more like 27 mischievous plantains, a few rotten contractor pomegrantes, naughty kiwi fruit that developed the ability to hide "ghost prisoners", and, of course, devious lawyer Bartlett pears who drafted the memoranda to create the legal wiggle-room to eviscerate the Geneva Conventions. Whether it should be made to extend to the head pineapple, Donald Rumsfeld, is still up for debate and probably inextricably tied to the campaign season now.

But hey... so long as we can continue to discuss the injuries and activities of a single soldier 35 years ago, I guess there's no real reason to pay attention to the messy little frat-house details of an ongoing war that: (1) is about to hit the 1,000 death and 6,500 wounded (many grievously) marks, (2) has probably squandered our moral capital in most other foreign affairs for a generation, (3) cost about $130 billion, and (4) diverted resources away from Afghanistan, a once-clear nation-building win that's devolving into a highly fractured haven for narcotics-financed warlords.

Is there?




Posted by Norbizness at August 26, 2004 12:32 AM
Comments

Priorities! Priorities! Priorities!
The world is too busy finding out if Kerry bled enough, to worry about a screwin' war that rages on with no end in sight.
Oh yeah baby, we've got our priorities straight!

Posted by: pissed off patricia at August 26, 2004 02:49 PM

i keep wondering why certain cable teevee media outlets that shall remain nameless are so intent on letting the executive branch off the hook on this one - it would seem that with point 'a' being the seven bad apples and point 'z' being the torture memos, there's a whole lot of vowels and consonants being left out, and what has been hastily put out to exonerate everyone who doesn't have a law degree or is from west virginny doth not resemble a full alphabet.

Posted by: dexter at August 26, 2004 03:27 PM

Why worry about a shopping basket of bad fruit when we can nitpick whether Kerry invented having in Vietnam a dog named "VC" or not? (Which has got to be the weiredest Shifty Swiftee slur I've heard to date.)


Posted by: Scaramouche at August 26, 2004 05:53 PM

Are Kirsten and Jake getting back together or not, goddammit?!

Posted by: Pete at August 26, 2004 11:28 PM

Mothra is female. Please correct this misrepresentation as it is distressing to all Mothra fans everywhere and certainly damages her status as the first (and perhaps only) female monster in Japanese movie history. Megwin Pinshodle's epic poem, My Mother, My Mothra, would lose all its meaning, and thus its Japanese sales, if this vicious rumor (begun by Anti-Mothrans For Truth We Make Up As We Go Along, a group funded with money from Assi Fukwo, the billionaire lizard-importer who is a close associate of the Godzilla Rocks Fan Club and a major contributor to the Republican Party in Texas) isn't squashed ruthlessly.

BTW, who's this 'Kerry' person?

Posted by: Mick at August 28, 2004 04:47 AM