May 06, 2004

He May Be a Bastard, But He's Our Bastard*


Come on, artificial groin. Just hold out a little longer.

And when I say "our", I mean the city of Houston's, even though he was born in Dayton, Ohio, raised in Katy (still a separate entity in the 70s), and spent time in Austin, Boston, Toronto, and New York before coming to play for the Astros, and although I no longer live in Houston. In addtion, I have no ownership interest in the Houston Astros baseball organization, nor have paid the exorbitant local taxes necessary to construct The Ballpark at Union Station Enron Field Minute Maid Park. However, I feel that the electrons beamed into my television set in Austin on the Fox Sports Southwest Channel (part of basic cable) entitle me, who quit playing baseball at age 15, to an emotional share of Roger Clemens' 6-0 start and his passing Steve Carlton (another bottle of sunshine) to go into 2nd place on the all-time strikeout list.

* see also: Charles Barkley, who was welcomed with semi-open arms to the Rockets in 1996, just two short years after his Suns jersey was set on fire by me and a couple of other basketball-crazed drunk Houstonians in a triumphant protest whose meaning has been lost over these last ten years.




Posted by Norbizness at May 6, 2004 12:02 AM
Comments

Actually, Clemens is a naturalized Texan. He was born in Dayton, OH, and moved to TX after his father passed away.

Best RHP of all time.

Posted by: Tim at May 6, 2004 08:50 AM

my bad......i shoulda read your post more closely before initially commenting.

Posted by: Tim at May 6, 2004 12:05 PM

No, it's my bad, I updated it using your info without clearly marking it, because I hate gratutiously inserting "UPDATE" all the time.

Posted by: Norbizness at May 6, 2004 12:12 PM

My bad.

I overslept and I have bad breath.

Posted by: patrick at May 6, 2004 01:24 PM

regardless of any personal characteristics, including, but not limited to native texistanian status, clemens is one of the few reasons i will ever watch baseball anymore. he and a small handful of other pitchers can always be counted on for the consistent drama of one poor, sorry motherfucker after another trying and failing to hit something that's very close to unhittable. it's fun to watch and talk shit to the batters as they come up.

"i don't know what you think you're trying to do, you unfortunate son of a bitch, but you're not going anywhere."

"0-2? you may as well go sit down now."

"go ahead and swing if you want to. it won't make any difference."

"ouch, i hope your kids weren't watching that."

and so on.

Posted by: capital P at May 6, 2004 01:30 PM